Plotting To Outlast All Others ‘We Got To Slow Down’ In ‘Race’ For Last Place

Josh Yarnell figures he’s found a way to capture his 15 minutes of fame.

He strolled the Bloomsday course Sunday with two friends, carrying a sign saying “Last Place Rules” and trying to claim the coveted honor of being the final finisher.

“No one remembers who came in 40th or 400,000th,” said Yarnell, a 15-year-old Cheney High School student. “It’s last place or first.”

Yarnell’s friend Thomas Phillip, 16, stumbled on the last-place idea after his less-than-impressive finishing time last year.

“Since I can’t be first, it’d be cool to get last place,” Phillip said as fire engines rolled by, marking the unofficial end of the pack. Water station attendants were raking squashed cups into trash bags.

On the course, the two boys met Charles Dick, an Eastern Washington University student who had the same idea. Up ahead was some stiff competition for the dubious distinction.

“We’re going to be last,” said Bobby Weiskopf, one of three 13-year-olds ambling along Riverside toward Government Way.

Whenever Weiskopf and his friends, Matt Hill and Scott Hemingway, turned and saw people behind them, they jumped into the bushes to goof around until those challenging their last-place status had passed.

“We got to slow down - people are catching up,” Hemingway said.

While those six dueled for the “honor” of being last, they were outpacing others who were trailing the pack not by design but by accident or circumstance.

Sylvia Laberdee and four friends pushed a double stroller up Fort Wright Drive as a bucket loader chugged past, plucking radio promotional signs off telephone poles. “We should win a prize,” Laberdee said.

She had a sister who tried to be last several years ago, but this wasn’t planned.

“We wanted to be on time, but it just didn’t happen,” Laberdee said.

They had overslept, then got a late start as they drove in from the outskirts of Reardan, Wash.

Jeff and Shelly Talkington started about an hour late by design. They were carrying their 6-week-old daughter Abigail, who doesn’t like crowds. So they left late from their home in Harrington, Wash.

They heard the start of the race on their car radio coming into Spokane. They finally started the course at 10 a.m., and about 90 minutes later, they were making the turn from Government Way onto Fort Wright. They had taken two breaks for breast-feeding, which also slowed their pace.

“We do like to go on long walks,” Jeff Talkington said. “This is kind of a nice family tradition.”

The last of the stragglers was Dave McKay, 37, of Spokane. Hours after runners had crossed the finish line, he slowly was making his way along Government Way with a cane in one hand and a walking stick in the other. His friend Chris Carrie was walking beside him with a nylon-strap folding chair in one hand.

The chair was kept handy in case McKay, who suffers from a mild form of muscular dystrophy, needed to take a rest.

But some 3-1/2 miles into the course, he hadn’t yet.

“I May Not Be Fast, So Dang It, I’ll Be last,” his T-shirt said.

McKay’s breathing was slightly labored. He hadn’t trained for Bloomsday, figuring if he couldn’t cover the distance in training, he’d give up before race day.

“I decided I wanted to do it for me but also for all those kids who have never had the opportunity,” McKay said. “I may not finish till after dark, but I will finish.”

Last.

, DataTimes