Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News
Just another snag in the brilliant Lincoln Street Bridge master plan
The Lincoln Street Bridge project hit yet another roadblock when its permit application was rejected on the grounds that it was filled out in crayon.
A dose of their own sweepstakes medicine
Have you heard about that lawsuit against sweepstakes kings Ed McMahon and Dick Clark? Here’s how I want the judge to deliver the verdict: “Ed McMahon and Dick Clark, you’re our big winners! (Pause while they celebrate) Just kidding. You lost - and you owe $11 million damages.”
This is perfectly legal, as long as we leave Saddam alone
President Clinton said that it would be a violation of U.S. law to assassinate Saddam Hussein, so instead, we’re just going to rain bombs on his oppressed subjects.
The latest developments from the Starr Chamber
Kenneth Starr denied being part of a right-wing conspiracy, although he did admit that Linda Tripp is, in fact, Rush Limbaugh in a wig.
This doesn’t sound like a true Spokane election result
I keep waiting for the correction: Due to a tabulation error, the school bond issue actually LOST by 80 percent. We regret any momentary optimism this may have caused.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos
MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.