WHADDUP, DAWG? You still usin’ that wack steelo?
Talkin’ all last year? You need to bounce wit’ that and get caught up on the latest lingo. How are you gonna floss with blingin’ ice and fly gear if you have no game? That’s my word, yo. If you want to keep up with the now, you have to keep it real, yo. You’ll only get sick props if you’re flipping the script right, aiight?
Yo, here’s what you need to do if you really want to get crunk: pick up a deck of these ill “Slang Flash Cards.” I was chillin’ at the crib with my man’s and em, and they busted out these flash ciznards and it was on like that for the night, like boom.
Now I got mad flavor, and I can still keep it gully so the zorks and po-pos can’t break my cipher, nah mean? Plus, by time the biters try to clone my technology you already know who’s the mack cuz I been bringin’ the ruckus since you was in the cat’s pajamas.
Yo, it goes down like this, these 5 x 7 cards come 60 in a pack, complete with the most updated slang words, fo’ shizzle. But it’s mad funny because it lays out in retro drawings, pronunciation, definitions, synonyms, and sample sentences on the other side of the cards.
Peep this, a card like “Crunk,” in case you’re tardy: crunk 'krunk\ adj: providing entertainment, amusement, excitement, or enjoyment “HIS BAR MITZVAH IS SUPPOSED TO BE CRUNK;” 2: crazy, insane – syn wack, postal; 3: intoxicated “HE GOT CRUNK ON SOME NASTY PORT.”
Yo, now you know what’s going down when it’s crunk like that, word.
So if you really want to holla at the young duns with the proper vocab, hit up Boo Radley’s, 232 N. Howard. Radley’s is sold out of the cards, but they should be straight in a couple of weeks. Word, and for $10.95, these cards, made by Knock Knock, are off the hook, yo. Cuz now when I roll up wit’ my posse in the hoopty and spit my game, I get mad props.
And for the shorties on the block, Radley’s is stocked with Janky Industries’ fly “Gangsta Rap Coloring Book” ($8.95) with dope illustrations of Schooly D., Ice Cube, Eazy E, and C-Bo (who was thrown in the clink when his raps were considered a parole violation).
Also, for the college radio kids, check out Janky’s “Indie Rock Connect the Dots,” ($7.50) with drawings and fun facts on artists such as Frank Black, Sleater-Kinney, Modest Mouse and Doug Martsch (the only constant member on every one of his band’s records). Awesome! Oops, I mean (flips through flash cards) off the hook.
Transform and roll out
I have been waiting since Jesse Jackson first ran for president for a Transformers video game like the one Atari recently made for the PlayStation 2.
But this version of Transformers isn’t from my 80s childhood. It’s based on the second generation of Transformers.
You still can choose Optimus Prime as one of your characters, along with Hot Shot and Red Alert, who have different speed and power attributes.
What makes this game really cool (Uh, I mean crunk) is the customizability of all the characters.
A la “Metroid” and “Megaman,” the Transformers merge with Pokemon-sized minicons for power-ups.
It’s single-player, though, so no multiplayer showdowns until the sequel (hint, hint).