Planning is best way past abortion uproar

Here we go again: Are you all ready to go another round in the abortion debate? I’m not, because I don’t think we are getting anywhere except a few steps backward.

Spurred on by a recent Supreme Court ruling that upheld a federal ban on “intact dilation and extraction” (or partial-birth abortion as those seeking a stronger emotional impact prefer to call the procedure), we’ll hear it all one more time, as the “save the babies” people scream at the “abortion is a personal decision” people.

I refuse to use the common labels for the two opposing groups, as they are so laden with prejudice all they do is further polarize the debate. Actually, I shouldn’t even use the term “abortion debate” because we are way beyond debate. No one is looking for common ground any longer, no one is looking for dialogue. What passes for abortion debate today is a screaming match that’s neither rational nor constructive.

And it’s missing a major point: How about not getting pregnant in the first place? Trust me on this one, it’s possible and it’s not rocket science – limiting the number of unplanned pregnancies is the only sure-fire way to reduce the number of abortions, but somehow no one wants to talk about that.

Since moving here from Denmark in ‘91, I’ve watched the abortion debate with a mix of terror and sick fascination. I’m just old enough that access to abortion was never something I questioned, and I grew up in a public school system that provided comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education in every grade.

Contrary to popular belief, accurate and appropriate sex-ed did not lead us to copulate like rabbits.

We heard about abortion, too, but it was always presented as an absolute last resort, never as a birth control method.

Today, I believe abortion should be available, yet in a perfect world it would never be needed. But the world is not perfect.

This is where family planning comes in: Don’t get pregnant in the first place if you can’t – for whatever reason – take care of a baby, who grows into a toddler, then turns into an elementary school kid, then grows into a teenager and hopefully an adult.

For most people it is easy to get pregnant – it happens every day, even under the most stressful circumstances – and the only person who can prevent a pregnancy is you.

Don’t be the next man saying, “But she said she couldn’t get pregnant.”

Don’t be the next woman saying, “But he said he never got anyone pregnant before.” Chances are she can and he did.

We have to stop this downward spiral of stupidity where pregnancy somehow always is someone else’s fault.

Please, take responsibility for your own reproduction.

And no, this is not a women’s issue – last time I checked it took a man and a woman to create a baby.

I don’t care what type of birth control you use, but use something that works. Talk to a nurse, ask a doctor, go online, figure it out, be proactive.

If prayer keeps you abstinent – more power to you. If cold showers and self-flagellation help purify your mind and keep you away from the opposite sex – for heaven’s sake jump into that shower.

Parents: Talk to your kids – they will listen to you. I’m a mom, I know it can be awkward to have the “where do babies come from” conversation, but the consequences of not talking about it are huge.