Net Lingo new name for old game

Y WD I TXT MSG WEN ITS EZR 2 CL?

What? Translation: “Why would I text message when it’s easier to call?”

Text messaging? In case you’ve been away for a couple of years on an extended vacation to Mars, text messaging is sending short messages back and forth between cell phones.

And Net Lingo is the language of texting – viewed by some linguists as a new language form. It was born of the need to reduce the number of keystrokes it takes to enter text messages on the phone keypad.

On the face of it – using my cell phone to send a text message sure looks like a monumental amount of extra effort.

Why, when I can touch one button, ring up my friend, have my conversation and say “Goodbye”… all before I could even get a text message written and sent, would I send a text message?

I suppose I’d be singing a different song if I had texting “knocked” like those techno-whiz kids do. It’s astonishing – they can text with one hand, one eye, and one amazing thumb and still have enough coordination left over to walk and drink a soda. Ah, youth.

Maybe I should give it a go. Although the ability to text may elude me, its possibilities do not. They’re endless, and not just for kids. Think of it. You could text a plan to your friend across the room to escape a boring meeting and meet up in the bar in five minutes. Or, you could text the police while hiding under the bed from the thieves who are ransacking your house.

Or, more practically speaking, two people can find each other in crowds if they become separated. Sometimes, a ringing phone is awkward but with a text message you can still communicate. There are cases when we need to get a message to someone but for compelling reasons we don’t want to talk to them, (i.e., WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!) … texting saves the day.

Text messaging is intriguing – think of its potential to facilitate covert activities of all types. The possibilities are endless. School kids can send answers to test questions back and forth in the classroom, or text a friend in the library to get answers.

Flirtations can occur right under the nose of the other person who is about to get the shaft. MY D8 S A WOMBAT…. CUL8R? Translation: My date is a waste of money, brains and time … see you later? (length of original message = 62 keystrokes; with Net Lingo = 26). The reply? XLNT!

Net Lingo has hundreds of abbreviations – like WU for what’s up; YBS for you’ll be sorry; X ME for excuse me; YOYO for you’re on your own; ZZZ for boring!; DLTM for don’t lie to me; and, 4COL for crying out loud. My dictionary shows some code numbers, too: 420 means marijuana, 9 means parent is watching, 99 parent is no longer watching.

A lot of the dictionary entries are the same as license plate messages, i.e. CUL8TR, GDAYM8. ZIPNBY, H8BNL8, IM26E4U and CRE8IVE – just to name a few of the zillions.

Even some of the familiar abbreviations from World War II are included in the Net Lingo dictionary. Like SNAFU – everybody knows that one, (situation normal, all fouled up) but how about TARFU (things are really fouled up) and FUBAB (fouled up beyond all belief) and my dad’s all time favorite – TUIFU (the ultimate in fouled up.)

Sending a text message is not hard, as I learned from Bryan Jordan of the Verizon store at the Silver Lake Mall. In only 10 minutes he showed me everything I needed to know about text messaging on my phone. It’s a quick learn – but a “tad” longer for proficiency.

Naturally, my next question to Jordan was, “How much?” Each message constitutes one minute of time and costs 15 cents for up to 160 characters; photos or videos, 25 cents each. For a $5/month plan you get 250 messages of any type, reducing the cost to 2 cents/message.

When you have a message, your screen will show it and the phone will give a couple of audible beeps. But, as with any ring, there are silent options, such as vibrate, too. This is perfect for discreet messaging.

If you send very personal and private (incriminating?) messages – better be sure “erased” is really erased in case your phone should fall into the wrong hands. You could get … well, should I say, nailed?

Net Lingo is merely a new name for an old game. Abbreviations that say something have been around forever. In the late1960s William Steig, New Yorker magazine’s famous cartoonist, published “CDB,” a book of cartoons and clever abbreviations. A man talking to his dog:

I M A U-M B-N. U R N N-M-L.

BCNU. :-)) ;-) (and that’s a wink.)