No question who’s to blame for Raiders’ problems

Checking the wires, Al Davis hasn’t fired any more coaches lately. But the day is young.

Now that Lane Kiffin has been tossed onto the discard pile in Oakland — which is starting to resemble a stack of used tires at the end of a NASCAR race — this will make eight head coaches in 13 years for the Raiders. But at least interim coach Tom Cable survived through the bye weekend.

The others to come and go were found disappointing and lacking, according to the owner, and pushed out the door. Last week’s divorce with Kiffin was particularly messy.

He’s an essential part of NFL history, but somehow Davis reminds you of the guy who’s been through half a dozen marriages and keeps claiming, “It’s all my ex-wife’s fault.”

But perhaps the problem is in the hiring process. A new questionnaire for prospects might help zero in on men who are better suited to the Raiders’ way of doing things.

We happen to have one handy. A guy who answers enough of these questions correctly is obviously an Al Davis man. At least long enough to have his name on the door.

1. Why in heaven’s name would you want this job?

2. How is your John Madden impersonation?

3. When you were a kid, did you ever dream of being in a circus?

4. When did the Raiders last have a winning team? If you wish, round off to the nearest decade.

5. Name three men in the NFL more important than Al Davis. Extra points if you can’t think of that many.

6. Are you personally related to any of the former Raiders coaches who couldn’t cut the mustard?

7. Are you prepared to make the tough decisions on the questions Mr. Davis gives you sole authority to answer? For instance, tie color.

8. Would you say the fact the Raiders have not won the Super Bowl in almost 25 years is due to coaching error, league conspiracy or global warming?

9. Wouldn’t you agree that given the honor of working for the Oakland Raiders, getting paid isn’t really all that important?

10. Which golf course will you be playing at on NFL draft day, so the Raiders can find you and let you know who you’ve drafted?

11. When you’re fired, would you prefer it be by e-mail or cell phone?

12. Were you ever in the jury pool for an Al Davis lawsuit?

13. If things go south, what names will you not mind being called on national television?

14. Did you watch the news conference, when Mr. Davis dismissed that lying, no-good Lane Kiffin?

15. Don’t you still think Los Angeles should have built us a new stadium?

16. If you lose at home to the Broncos and Mike Shanahan very often, will you do the honorable thing and fall on your sword?

17. What will be your deadline each week for suggestions to be faxed from the owner’s box?

Thank you for your answers. We’ll be in contact soon. Just wait, baby.

AP-NY-10-06-08 1445EDT