Jim Kershner: I’ve tapped into why men are more romantic

The thought struck me with stunning clarity on Valentine’s Day: Men are more romantic than women.

What? This flouts all conventional wisdom.

Who reads all of those books in which a spirited young governess captures the wild heart of the roguish Sixth Earl of Speyside? Women.

Who watches all of those movies in which the dashing Hugh Grant overcomes his fear of commitment? Women.

Who listens, with actual enjoyment, to the heartfelt ballads of Michael Bublé? Women.

Who gets all teary-eyed at weddings – even fourth weddings? Women.

So, yeah, it seems obvious that women have a stranglehold on the romance market.

But I saw something on Valentine’s Day that hit me like a ton of Godiva chocolates. I was sitting at the bar of the Boulder Beer Tap House at Denver International Airport. It was filled with a mixed scattering of forlorn travelers, possibly even more forlorn than usual, since they were away from their sweeties on Valentine’s Day.

One middle-aged guy had a big, beautiful bouquet of roses sitting on the bar, next to his pint of Killer Penguin. And here’s the thing: All of the other men, including me, were all over him with questions.

Is that for your wife? (Yes.)

Where did you get it? Do they sell them here in the airport? (Yes.)

Can a bouquet make it through security? (He hoped so.)

One guy, in fact, ran off to the shop where this man had purchased it, and reported back on the price. (Extravagant, naturally.)

Were any of the women in the bar carrying bouquets back to their sweeties? No. Were they peppering this guy with questions about where they could pick up something to take home to their honey-bear? No. Were they showing any sign that they knew it was Valentine’s Day at all? No.

The women may have had a nice card or something in their carry-ons, or maybe even a bottle of single-malt whiskey. All I’m saying is that the men, not the women, were the ones who were visibly demonstrating the Valentine’s spirit in that particular gathering place.

This is what scientists and researchers call “anecdotal” evidence, or, as I prefer to call it, “B.S. I pulled out of my hat while drinking a pint of Hazed & Infused.”

But wait. I have statistics to back it up. A Clarus Poll released on Valentine’s Day showed that 42 percent of men are romantic compared to only 30 percent of women. So there’s your statistical proof.

Actually, the poll found that 42 percent of men say they are “excited about their love lives,” compared to 30 percent of women, which is not exactly the same as being “romantic.” It could just mean that men are horn-dogs, which everybody already knows.

Still, I have always suspected that men are romantic fools based on at least one other bit of anecdotal evidence: The vows that they recite for their weddings.

The brides’ vows are sappy, too, tending toward everlasting love and undying devotion. But have you heard the grooms’ vows? They tend to begin with the words “from the first moment I saw you” and then are peppered with terms like “angel” and “sent from heaven” and “my gossamer butterfly.”

I mentioned this “men-are-more-romantic” theory to my wise friend Hal the other night. He agreed – and he even knew the obvious explanation.

“Because women demand it,” he said. “We’d better be.”