Faith and Values: It does no good to compare ourselves to others, Steve Massey writes

It’s a tendency that surfaces early in life.

It first appears as that nagging sense that our friends’ toys are newer than ours, his parents don’t fight like ours, she has a dog, but we can’t have one.

Basic to human nature is our tendency to compare ourselves with others.

We know better intellectually. But, in practice, many of us get caught in the comparison trap and can’t seem to find our way out.

It’s the hidden motive behind buying that car, behaving this way for these people, the other way for those other people.

And it’s why so many of us tell little white lies to artificially elevate or humble ourselves, managing other’s opinions of us.

After all, they’re comparing, too. Why not help them?

Truth liberates us from the comparison trap.

And the truth is that God has made us unique individuals purposefully, that we might find our satisfaction in him, not in how we think we measure up to others.

Consider God’s words to the prophet Jeremiah: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart. …”

However mysterious, this much is clear: God makes us who we are and even allows our circumstances for his good purposes.

In the Bible’s song book, Psalms, David finds great comfort in acknowledging that God had shaped him purposefully, uniquely: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. … Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

How often we rob ourselves of the singular life God has for us as we compare ourselves to others and try to adjust accordingly.

One way I know I’m stuck in the comparison trap is that I struggle to be grateful. Maybe you can relate.

Thankfulness is nearly impossible when we’re constantly comparing our careers, homes, marriages, children, social circles, toys and life experiences to those of others.

We’re cautioned in Scripture that a direct correlation exists between gratitude and peace of heart. We do well to heed this caution, especially when our comparisons cause us to fret that we’re somehow not measuring up well to others.

“Don’t worry about anything… thank God for all He has done,” says Philippians 4. “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts.”

Of course, we don’t always fare poorly in our comparisons with others.

Were you hoping I wouldn’t mention this? Don’t you sometimes imagine yourself better than others, more successful, more mature, more spiritual?

When I was in high school, I sometimes felt relief when my math teacher graded on a curve; as a sophomore, I imagined myself a standout mathematician. Fast-forward to college, where no grading-on-a-curve scheme known to mankind hid the obvious truth: I’m just not very good at math.

Here’s the sobering truth: God doesn’t grade on a curve. His measure of us is not how we compare to others, but how we compare to himself.

Did you catch that last part?

We’re not meant to compare ourselves to other people. We’re meant to compare ourselves to the perfection of God himself, and see the horror of it all.

This is the whole point of the Gospel: God took on human nature – Jesus Christ – and lived out real-life human perfection as our substitute. He did this for more than 30 years.

Jesus, the only perfect man, served us further as our substitute at Calvary, taking upon himself the judgment we deserve for our imperfection – our sin. Then Jesus rose from the dead, guaranteeing forgiveness and friendship with God for all who trust in his work for them.

The gospel brings an end to all comparisons.