Good afternoon, Netizens...

As completely tempted as I am to attempt to come up with J. Grey's question about UFO's, I have had this threadlet partially completed for the better part of two days now, and I simply must finish it. It will become a new “feature” of Community Comment, and the title will be “What do you do with...”.

In this instance, every time you jump into the shower or sit in the tub, you are steadily wearing away that bar of soap. Has anyone ever calculated how many showers it takes before you finally wear that once-robust bar of soap away to where it is a sliver of its former self? While I think that is a pretty fair question, the truly great question, which demands a universal answer is, when the bar of soap is finally down to a sliver, what do you do with it?

Here, from the fertile imagination of the omnipotent source of the universal gesundheit of the unknown, are some answers to this question that has defied any rational being for an answer:

Place sliver in the blender and turn on high. Let blender run until sliver of soap is completely chewed into powder. Turn off the blender and pour soup into small unbreakable dish and put said dish in the shower. Throw away the blender as anything from that time forward will always taste like soap. Use powdered soap on those especially “icky” places. You know what I mean.

Stack the soap slivers up in a neat orderly pile in some corner of your shower/bath until they reach the approximate height as a newly-opened bar of soap. Using a small tube of glue, fasten the slivers together to form one unified bar of soap made of slivers. If you mash the slivers down very carefully as you glue them together, you may not even notice the difference between that and a new bar of soap, except for the slivers of glue which tend to accumulate in your drain, that is. (See notes below about plugged drains.) A good alternative to this process can be found on the Internet thus: http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/5674824-description.html
This is, of course, more proof that you can find anything on the Internet.

Stick the sliver of leftover soap to the new bar of soap. As simple as this might sound, it has some limitations, especially in a household of different soaps. For example, adhering a gold sliver and a white sliver might be color-coordinated, but then you have to experiment a little. Remember, there are two sides to your normal bar of soap so there is always clever color combinations you can use.

Given the high cost of pet food these days, chop up fish or chicken, carefully blending in the slivers of soap and see if the cats will eat it. Our cats will eat nearly anything, and in a moment of cat food deprivation, I tried this once, and only once. Both cats used language very much unbecoming felines of the species for a few days thereafter to describe my ancestry. Oh, and if you try this at home, be sure you have an ample supply of kitty litter.
Throw them down the drain, making certain you call your local plumbing repairman well in advance.

What do YOU do with your soap slivers? Do you have any truly innovative tricks you use?

--
Dave

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