Paul Turner

We keep reading that the latest incarnation of Western "urban cowboy" style is out, and that a woodsy "Northwest" look is in. "Clunky boots and plaid work shirts" are hot, The Wall Street Journal reported last week. (No wonder kids dropped the grunge look..they saw this coming.)

Two people were overheard talking about a 2 a.m. phone call. One said: "I don't care if your friend is suicidal, he doesn't have to be rude!" - submitted by Michael Weaver Slice answers: "Women will discuss only with other women certain parts of the male anatomy. And if you can't print that, just say that we talk to each other about EVERYTHING because men never listen." - Dawn and Celeste, Eastern Washington University "Men, of course." - Rita Peterson Well, so much for our theory that the correct answer is hair, shoes and their mothers. Freedom of expression: "Is it a crime to make the reader think? Or are books supposed to simply be there as an activity that requires little brain power?" - from an essay by Emily Himmelright decrying bookbanning appearing in Paw Prints, a newspaper produced by students at Spokane's Wilson Elementary School Hitting the mute button: J.E. Atwood is tired of those car commercials featuring Doug Parker and his dog. And Joe Thomas can't stand Knudtsen Chevrolet's spots. The four-movie couples compatibility test: Watch "Local Hero," "After Hours," "Choose Me," and "Lost in America," and see if you have anything in common. Workplace vocabulary: "Smokebreak technician," used to describe, well, you can guess. - submitted by Charlie Lee Readers' warm-up questions: Are there any no-smoking karaoke bars in the Spokane area? How can you tell if someone grew up drinking fluoridated water? Today's Slice question: If you woke up tomorrow and discovered that you had been made emperor or empress of Greater Spokane, what new taxes or fines would you impose during your first day on the job? (Our picks: Stiff penalties for spitting on sidewalks, making fun of farmers and pretending to be a babe magnet while wearing relaxed fit jeans.)

People who say nobody is friendly anymore don't go for enough walks. You want to see a few smiles and hear strangers say "Hello"? Put on your sneakers early some morning and take a stroll around a city park. Civility is not dead, at least not among Spokane walkers. Cordial waves are common. Momentary eye contact is allowed.

No, The Slice's logo is not satanic. But thanks for asking. Kid stuff: "While out for a Sunday afternoon drive, we happened to pass the Boeing plant in Airway Heights. I turned to our then 6-year-old daughter, Sara, and asked her if she knew what was made at the Boeing plant. She said 'Sure Mom, Boeing constrictors."' - Karin Dunbar Battle of the monikers: "'Inland Empire' may be traditional, but sounds like a silly and pathetic attempt to one-up Western Washington. 'Inland Northwest' is far more descriptive. And I'm no newcomer, having lived every one of my 40 years in the INLAND NORTHWEST." Sharon Eide, Bridgeport, Wash. Fifty years ago: "My husband, two sons and myself lived in Osburn, Idaho. We had built a house in Osburn in 1940, then it got too small. So we built a larger house. My husband was 4F, so couldn't serve during WW II. So he worked for the mining company, which was important for the war effort." - Elaine Hendrickson "(I was in) Lane, Oklahoma. Please don't hold that against me." - Roger W. McDonald Slice answer: A reader named Deanna said, yes, she judges people on the basis of their shoes. "If I see a guy, my radar goes directly to the shoes. If they're cheesy, it usually matches the personality."

Sometimes, when we hear newcomer-bashing, we find ourselves considering the possibility that the person who will emerge as Spokane's key leader in the next century could currently be a little kid growing up in Kansas City or Sacramento. Slice answers: Teacher Annie Nelson had her fourth-graders at Lake Spokane Elementary tackle "What is your dream job?" "My dream job is to be a veterinarian. Veterinarians help animals. I love animals and I love tacking good care of them." - Meagan

1. A Sunday school student at First Presbyterian Church colors a religious scene in kindergarten class. 2. Above, fifth-graders at First Presbyterian Church in Spokane trace the exodus path from Egypt. Below, children dance to music during their Sunday session. Photo by Christopher Anderson/The Spokesman-Review

Linda Willard and others made "Visit the IMAX Theatre" the No. 1 answer after we asked what people in the Spokane area do only when they have company from out of town. Learning curve: Jesse Cossette suspects that the one word people consistently spell correctly is the one they missed in a grade-school spelling bee. He tripped on A-S-C-E-N-D.

It's summer already. Well, it is in the Land Down Under, which celebrates Australia Day today. Feel free to annoy your co-workers by walking around saying "G'day." Attitude: "We worried that my daughter, Elise, wasn't going to be as smart as her older brother because she didn't start talking as early as he did," wrote Doug Dominey. "Now, we can't get her to stop. And, for a 2 1/2- year-old, she seems to have developed a fairly sophisticated understanding of relationships.

Income levels, race, and religion are popular US vs. THEM themes. But the longer we live in Spokane, the more we're convinced the one real divider here is country music. Bring back the draft: "This year's college freshmen are more indifferent to politics than any class previously surveyed." - assessment of a poll, in The Washington Post Nice kitty: "Release his claws from your hand or other part by moving toward his paw and unhooking his claws." - from "How to Raise a Sane and Healthy Cat" Helpful hint for Slice callers: It's "Hi, I want to share an anecdote," not "Hi, I want to share an antidote." Ten best places to meet someone of the opposite sex: 1. Bars. 2. Singles dances and parties. 3. Dating services/personal ads. 4. Bookstore cafes. 5. At work. 6. Classes. 7. Weddings and engagement parties. 8. Churches and synagogues. 9. Concerts. 10. Outdoor activities. - from the authors of "How to Start a Romantic Encounter" He requested that we not print his name: "One thing my wife does before out of town guests arrive is clean the house - the only time cleaning is done. So I invite business guests over to our house so that it will get cleaned. She doesn't know I do this for that reason." That must be easier than pitching in and doing some cleaning yourself. Warm-up questions: What's the perfect snack for the State of the Union Address? Can a person be a fan of "The Simpsons" and still find "Itchy and Scratchy" disturbing (even if you recognize that these cartoons-within-a-cartoon make fun of violent kids shows)? Slice answer: Thanks for all the critiques - including some praise - of Spokane TV news performers. But rather than do our impression of Claude Rains - "Round up the usual suspects" - we have decided to drop the matter and move on to... Today's Slice question: What do strangers imagine about your looks after hearing your telephone voice?

A caller from Coeur d'Alene said he has begun a "Death watch," in anticipation of the last outdoor Christmas lights disappearing. He's got a long wait ahead of him. Slice answer: When will "Inland Northwest" totally vanquish "Inland Empire"? "Never," wrote Bonnie Rae, echoing the sentiments of several readers. Her card went on to say: "'Inland Northwest' is a silly affectation invented in very recent times by transplants from other states who didn't know any better. Nobody but The Spokesman-Review actually uses the phrase and nobody else takes it seriously." Kid stuff: "My 4-year-old requested a hot dog for lunch and when I reached for the bag of buns, he said 'No, I don't want a sponge."' - Debbie Becker, Northport Divide and conquer: Cheney's Lore Banks reports that a friend of hers who has always had problems balancing a check book has come up with a solution. She opened four accounts at four different banks. The first account is for household bills. The second is for business-related checks. The third is for groceries, eating out, et cetera. "And the fourth bank account is for if she messes up on all the other three," wrote Banks. Restroom graffiti: "Back in five minutes...Godot." - seen by Patrick Treadway Generation gap: A preschooler visiting a Spokane convalescent center encountered an elderly woman with a cane. He asked: "Do you take care of sheep with that?" Roadkill Highway: "On Highway 395 between Spokane and Deer Park, I've personally buried six deer in the last four years." - Spark J. Settle Thought for the day: "Management is a system of controls which prevent the employees from accidentally causing profits to increase." - Scott Adams Today's Slice question: Is it true that, in Spokane, you can tell all you need to know about a person by looking at his or her shoes?

A mother phoned to report that her 4-year-old son recently mistook the Review Tower for a jail. (Fill in your own wisecrack here.) A new No. 1: Odessa's Kathy Romine and several other readers politely objected to our ranking of Jolly Rancher candy flavors. Their beef? The glaring omission of the hot cinnamon "Fire" from our list. "The other flavors are just thrown in for color," said Romine. Slice quiz: McKinley Morganfield is known by what name? (Find the answer near the end of the column.) Is it just us: Or are those Jack In The Box commercials awful? Kid stuff: "When my 3-year-old grandson lived in Florida, he received so many packages from his two grandmas via UPS that when he saw the UPS truck, he said 'Here comes the PS Grandma truck."' C. L. Auvil, Chewelah The need to think things through: Margot Wilson realized she wasn't paying attention when she started to put hand lotion on her toothbrush.

A California author and physical therapist who advocates treating musculoskeletal pain with motion and posture realignment will lecture in Spokane Friday night. Pete Egoscue's presentation is scheduled for 7 p.m. at Cavanaugh's Inn at the Park. The cost is $50. Call (509) 456-8426 for details. Follow-up sessions will be available Saturday and Sunday.

Make up your mind, girl. Spokane's Emily Parsons, 4, is learning to write. And one of her first messages was directed to her big sister's first-grade teacher: "I want Alyssa to stay home with me, but that's OK if she goes to school." Coming attractions: Apparently the animators working on "Pocahontas" were instructed to give her a figure something like Barbie's. How nice, a politically correct movie that still manages to send little girls a swell message about body image.

A debate rages at Slice Headquarters. And only the readers can put the matter to rest. When will "Inland Northwest" totally vanquish "Inland Empire" in the battle of monikers? Lambykins calling: "(Identity deleted) calls and gets calls at least 50 times a day from her new husband. They have 30-second fights and then make up in the next two-minute call, ALL DAY LONG! It's VERY annoying, to say the least. When they're not fighting, they're cooing and ga-gaing, which is worse than the fighting." - Couldn't Be Sicker