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Fed up Agents are visiting Brazil’s World Cup players door-todoor, looking for 17.4 tons of personal items items waived through Rio’s airport to the chagrin of Brazilian officials.

“It wasn’t that we didn’t want to pay duties, we just didn’t want to leave our baggage impounded at the airport,” explained coach Carlos Alberto Parreira, whose bags included a 45-inch TV and a computer.

“My baggage looked big because I bought a doll house for my daughter,” one player explained. “But I swear, I didn’t go over the $500 limit.” The ultimate enforcer

Ex-heavyweight champ Riddick Bowe and his manager, Rock Newman, are part-owners of the Syracuse Crunch, a new American Hockey League franchise.

“Riddick refers to the Crunch as HIS hockey team now,” Newman said. “I have to remind him every now and then that there are other limited partners.”

“But they don’t hit as hard as I do,” retorted Bowe.

Neither does Tommy Morrison, the heavywhite who played Tommy Gunn in Rocky IV and claims to be John Wayne’s nephew. Before last Thursday’s fight against Ross Puritty (who?), Morrison said he had dumped the lifestyle that led to his fade from prominence.

“If I put myself in the right environment and keep my mind straight,” Morrison claimed, “I can beat anybody.”

Anybody, that is, except Puritty, who floored Morrison twice en route to a draw. Food for thought

The South African Rugby Union is clamping down on cannibalism, banning Johan le Roux, who, according to union prez Louis Luyt, “brought South African rugby into complete disrepute” by biting an opponent’s ear. Best bet on the tube

Can it be? The “homestand” continues for the Mariners in Anaheim, Calif. 7 p.m., KSTW (cable channel 20 in Spokane). The last word … “I’ve got five kids and a wife … and an ex-wife, too.” Monte Coleman, 16th-year Redskins linebacker, on taking a pay cut to stay in the NFL