Cheap Seats

OR TRY 1-800-GET-LIFE

Want to ask Jim Nantz about his college days with Fred Couples, or just say “Hi” to Ken Venturi? Well, CBS has come up with a new filler for rain-delayed PGA tournaments. Viewers can call 1-800-CBS-TEES with questions for announcers or players.

“Viewers will become participants in the broadcast, resulting in lively, provocative Q&A sessions,” said coordinator producer Frank Chirkinian.

A Mr. Chip Sietz in Spokane has a question: Since the invention of the remote control, has anyone ever stayed tuned during a rain delay?

Care to see the whine list?

Buddy Ryan’s restaurant opened last week in Phoenix, and the Arizona Cardinals’ coach might want to keep his day job judging from the reaction of his starting quarterback, Jim McMahon.

Actually, McMahon didn’t mind the food, but lost his lunch over one listing on the menu: the one for Jim McMahon’s Drunken Shrimp. He voiced his displeasure to the bistro’s manager.

“It’s getting taken care of,” McMahon huffed. “It’s gone or it better be.”

To be replaced by Jim McMahon’s Obnoxious Wieners.

Battered boy

Officials of the new Texas-Louisiana League are upset with Amarillo Dillas pitcher Mark Czarkowski, who ran over Corpus Christi’s batboy during a recent game and broke the teen’s arm in two places.

Czarkowski was backing up a throw to the catcher when he trampled 14-year-old Josh Jordan, who had run out to retrieve a bat. After knocking down the 121-pound youngster, the 185-pound pitcher hurled the batboy’s cap into the screen.

“We’re supposed to go out and get the bat so the players don’t trip over it,” said Jordan. “All I could see was his chest coming at me for a split second, then I don’t remember anything.”

Picket line humor

Last week, John Burkett of the Giants said to Cubs first baseman Mark Grace, “Did you hear we agreed to a salary cap?” Grace was clearly agitated until Burkett added, “We agreed to write our salaries on our caps.”

Best bet on the tube

Seahawks: If you can stand the suspense, preseason Game 3 against the Vikings is being tape delayed. 5 p.m., PSN (cable channel 24 in Spokane).

The last word …

“I was about to wave off the guy who came up to squeegee my windshield today and then I realized it was Don Mattingly.”

David Letterman