Rypien Awaits Free-Agent Offer In Shopping Spree

As the NFL’s free-agency shopping spree progresses, Mark Rypien continues to sit in the store window with a price tag attached to him.

Metaphorically, at least.

The Spokane native was cut loose by the Cleveland Browns after the season, and he has yet to come to terms with another team.

“We continue to talk to Houston, the Rams, Kansas City - and Detroit is very motivated,” said Ken Staninger, Rypien’s agent.

Cleveland is also interested in signing Rypien to another contract as a back-up to starter Vinny Testaverde, Staninger said.

“Of the teams now, two are interested in him in definite backup roles, Detroit and Cleveland,” Staninger said. “But Houston, the Rams and Kansas City’s starting situations are somewhat muddled.”

The Chiefs are certainly expecting starter Joe Montana to retire early next week. But backup Steve Bono would likely be handed the reins without contest.

Is money or the chance to start the most important criterion for Rypien?

“Mark’s looking for the best opportunity to start,” Staninger said. “But normally, that usually also comes with the best contract.”

Evidently, Barry Bonds didn’t spend his time off during the strike enrolled in a Dale Carnegie class.

While some big-leaguers are working on fencemending with the fans who were jobbed out of the last World Series, Bonds has no time for it.

“They say, ‘Kiss butt now,’ but that’s not going to change anything,” Bonds said. “You like me or you don’t.”

OK, Barry, we don’t. And we don’t care where you kiss.

And while we’re on baseball, it seemed impossible that player representative Donald Fehr would be able to further enhance his grip on the honor of being one the world’s most despicable individuals.

But he’s working on it. Not only has Fehr entirely rejected the notion that the players support the umpires in their labor dispute, but he reportedly has sent to major leaguers a complete list of the names of the replacement players.

The obvious reason? So they’ll be more efficient at targeting their juvenile hostility when they get a chance.

Nobody ever second-guessed the decision of former Heisman Trophy winner Charlie Ward to play in the NBA rather than the NFL.

It made sense, considering his lack of size. But Ward might be exercising a little shaky logic in the choice of a spousal unit.

The name of Ward’s intended bride: Tonja Harding.

Wanna bet she’s eager to tie the knot?

Here’s hoping he’s in the pink soon.

Robert “Pink” Erickson, father of new Seahawks coach Dennis Erickson, recently underwent successful surgery to fight prostate cancer.

Wonder if Barry Switzer has noticed that his Dallas Cowboys are starting to build a rap sheet to rival that of his old Oklahoma Sooners.

This week, all-pro tackle Erik Williams was charged with sexually assaulting a 17-year-old topless dancer.

This is after Williams’ drunk-driving accident last fall, a mishap that left him promising drastic changes in his lifestyle.

“I’ve slowed down,” he said recently. “Some of the things I used to do, I don’t do anymore.”

Like what, act like a civilized human?

A study by Arizona State University psychologists recently reported that, when trying to make a good first impression on a member of the opposite sex, “it is best not to admit to being a serious golfer.”

Admission of this personality shortcoming “should be avoided on early dates when impressions are initially formed.”

Kermit Davis, the former successful Idaho basketball coach who was spanked by the NCAA for infractions at Texas A&M, reportedly has sniffed at the empty EWU hoop post.

From outward appearances, Davis seemed like an upstanding character at Idaho, and no one could question his ability to coach.

But, considering a couple of dubious dealers who preceeded Wade, EWU can not be in the position of hiring someone who already has a dossier in the NCAA files.

Maybe the most impressive part of Thursday’s sports section was not the news of Mike Price’s new contract at WSU, or the dramatic overtime playoff loss of the Spokane Chiefs, but the figures in the “Sports list” that revealed that Secretariat had sired 653 offspring.

Won’t this spur renewed efforts by Wilt Chamberlain?

Here’s a touching story of sensitivity for you.

Legendary golf instructor Harvey Penick, who died last week after being weakened by pneumonia at age 90, had been taken to the hospital by ambulance a couple weeks ago.

Despite the tubes in his nose and apparatus at work to fight the fluid that was filling his lungs, he was recognized by a paramedic as the man who taught the game to many of the game’s greats.

How did this trained medical assistant respond to this sad and poignant moment? By asking Penick for advice on his grip.