Full Of Family Advocates Of Cross-Cultural Adoption Say It Is A Loving Alternative For Children Yearning For Stability

Intercultural. Transracial. Crosscultural. These are familiar and highly controversial buzzwords to professionals in the adoption community. Some critics, such as the National Association of Black Social Workers, say the act of adopting children outside their ethnic or cultural heritage is paramount to cultural genocide.

Advocates say it is a viable and loving alternative for children yearning for stability and family.

“Genocide could be staying in a desperate situation or living life in a crib in an orphanage,” says Jan Bowes-Martinez, a Spokane psychotherapist who leads parenting workshops through the Adoption Resource Center, a program of Children’s Home Society of Washington.

However, as the adoptive mother of two Korean children, BowesMartinez is quick to clarify intercultural adoption is an act of love, not a rescue mission. “Our children have blessed our lives,” she says. “We see them as an everopening gift.”

Rick and Susan Hornor of Spokane are parents to four birth children and three Korean adolescents adopted three years ago. They say there is a real danger in setting up unrealistic expectations - for children and parents both.

“The first few months were hard; we wondered what we’d gotten into,” says Rick. “There was almost a sense of absurdity. Why should we love them? Why would they love us? We discovered love builds and develops. It doesn’t just happen.”

Today, the Hornors say they are “madly in love” with their children and see genuine affection among siblings. The family is fueled by its involvement in the 1,500-member Spokane Korean American Association and its frequent gatherings, feasts and cultural events. They talk enthusiastically of sending their adopted children to a Korean university for a year and of one daughter’s desire to reunite with her birth mother someday.

“It’s an absolute miracle, this real sense of family,” says Rick. “We were their fourth family since arriving in the States. We learned early on these kids had no sense of stability.”

Joan Ramos, a counselor with the Adoption Resource Center’s Seattle office, says intercultural adoption is not for every parent who seeks it. Prospective parents must honestly search themselves, asking, “Why do we want to adopt? Why this child? This culture?”

Too often, parents are so desperate for a child, Ramos says they are in denial about some of the challenges intercultural families endure. “We don’t want to ignore the desires of parents, but we have to ask: Is this in the best interests of the children?”

Historically, the institution of adoption catered exclusively to middle- and upper-class white couples. There was a great deal of secrecy, especially if an unwed birth mother was involved, Ramos says. And, many adoptive parents chose not to tell their children the truth.

A shift in the 1960s and ‘70s, touched off by the civil rights movement and the legalization of abortion, led to a surge in both interracial and international adoptions. It also spawned the birth of the “rainbow” philosophy, Ramos says, a mindset imploring adoptive parents to “raise children as human beings” with little regard to ethnicity or cultural roots. The result: scores of children confused about their ethnic identities and ill-prepared to handle the realities of a racist world.

Janet and John Yoder of Spokane are parents of two African-American children. Although the Yoders are Caucasian, their world is multicultural. Janet is director of Whitworth College’s International Services. John is a professor of political and international studies at Whitworth College whose area of expertise is African history. Twice, the Yoder family, children included, lived in Africa.

“We’ve always had an extended circle of African friends and the right kinds of cultural connections,” says Janet. “We’re extremely fortunate to have many cultures represented in our extended family and both sides of the family have lavished love on our children all their lives.”

As Mennonites, the Yoders’ lives are steeped in social activism. At the same time, they’re sensitive to anything that “looks like a political or social statement” in regards to their children. “I cringe at that,” says Janet. “Our children are our children. We adopted them because we wanted a family. Not because we wanted to save the world.”

The Adoption Resource Center is equipped to handle all aspects of adoption from placement to search services. For additional information, call 1-800-398-1272.