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Home, safely

Not to give Minnesota Twins fans any bright ideas, but did you hear about the platenappers in Visalia, Calif.? The home plate stolen from Visalia Oaks Recreation Park last week has been returned - after being held hostage until the Class A team won some baseball games.

An anonymous caller told the Visalia Times-Delta Monday that the pilfered dish could be found south of the newspaper’s building. The woman said in an earlier call the plate was being held until the Oaks won some games. At the time, the team had lost six straight at home, but then it won three of the next seven on the road.

So you could say the plate was being held for runsom.

We demand a recount

There’s just no peace for Roger Maris. Ron Rakowski, a member of the Society for American Baseball Research and a fellow with a lot of free time on his hands, wants a share of Maris’ 1961 American League RBI title for Jim Gentile.

Maris, of course, broke Babe Ruth’s home run record with 61 that year - but went into the record books with an asterisk because he needed a longer season in which to do it. Maris also knocked in 142 runs - one more than Balitmore’s Gentile - but Rakowski claims the Yankees slugger was mistakenly credited with a ribbie on July 5 against Cleveland. In the third inning, Maris singled and third baseman Bubba Phillips - trying to catch Maris rounding first base - threw the ball into the stands, allowing Tony Kubek to score.

“I wish I’d known that then,” said Gentile. “The next winter (general manager) Lee MacPhail said if I had led the league in RBIs, that alone would have been worth an extra $5,000.”

Son of we demand a recount

Computer experts at Oxford University have decided the goal that gave England an overtime victory over West Germany in the 1966 World Cup final should not have been allowed. Professor Ian Reid said a video analysis plotted the path of Geoff Hurst’s kick and after it hit the crossbar, and revealed it landed one inch outside the goal line.

In case you thought only the American sports fan needed to get a life.

Suspect arm, good wheels

A man was arrested after leading police on a high-speed chase that began when he tried unsuccessfully to register at the Denver Broncos’ training camp.

Alex Sanchez, 31, reportedly had been a QB at Abilene Christian. A Broncos official refused to allow Sanchez to sign in because he was not under contract, and when security officer Ken Craft arrived, Sanchez began spitting water and swinging a baseball bat.

A chase ensued involving the Colorado State Patrol, with speeds reaching 100 mph before the arrest.

“He probably got a little frustrated - a third-team quarterback in high school,” Broncos coach Mike Shanahan said. “He probably wanted a chance to show what he could do.”

He should have tried the NASCAR camp.

The last word …

“Vince Lombardi wrote the book on coaching. Don Shula edited it.”

- Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell

, DataTimes