Braced For Disaster With Teeth Still Aching From A Mouthful Of New Braces, What Could Be Better Than A Quiet Night Of Baby-Sitting?

Three days before spring break started when I was in the ninth grade, I got the one thing that most teenagers hate: braces.

My teeth were still a little sore when Saturday night rolled around. Not that it really mattered - I was baby-sitting with my little brother and had no hot, studly boyfriend to spend my free time with.

The way I looked at it was at least I was out of the house. So to whoever might call me, it would look like I had some sort of a life.

I was baby-sitting two little boys: Alex and Austin. Everything had gone pretty smooth that night - except for the fact that Alex had thrown up all over the kitchen floor and Austin got a little carried away with a black crayon on the white sofa in the living room. Little did I know that Alex was allergic to peanut butter and that Austin knew where the crayons were and how to draw. After I cleaned up Alex and the kitchen floor, I spent an hour trying to get the crayon drawings out of the sofa. I have to admit Austin just might have a future in art.

When I finished, I sat the boys down and read them a story. After I put them to bed and tucked them in, I began to watch TV. Finally, a moment of peace. My brother and I found a really good documentary on cabins and lakes and what people do there during the summer. Well, OK, it was actually a “Friday, the 13th” movie, but I did learn a lot from it, especially that it’s not safe to be alone. It was a valuable lesson.

After the movie finished, I started flipping through the channels and found a cheesy movie on teenage love: this couple, both with braces, were starting to kiss. In the heat of the moment, their braces locked, and they couldn’t get them undone. They couldn’t do anything but go to the girl’s father to see if he could get them unstuck. After the father finished beating up on the boy, they were finally free.

Even though it was a stupid movie, a chill ran through my body. With just getting braces, this was not the time to scare myself to death with the possible catastrophe that could happen to me while I had my braces. If I had a boyfriend.

I decided to channel surf again.

The telephone ringing interrupted my peace and silence. I really didn’t feel like getting up, so I told my brother I would pay him five bucks if he would go answer it. You would think any normal, rational kid would jump at the opportunity. But, no such luck. So, I reluctantly got out of the chair and ran up the stairs.

When I reached the very top step, I lost my balance and began to fall. I tried to remain in control but the fall was inevitable. As I was falling, possible ways to land flashed in front of me. But I couldn’t decide on a position, and instead, SMACK! I landed face-first, right on top of my upper lip.

I’m not quite sure how that happened. I just knew I was in major pain. It took me a second to come to my senses, and notice the phone was still ringing.

I answered it in pain.

On the other end was the mother of the two children I was babysitting.

“Heello?” I answered. In pain. She said, “What the heck is going on over there? This phone was ringing a couple of minutes before you even answered it. I was worried that maybe the kids were run over by a car while playing outside, or that the next door neighbor’s dog ate them, or that the house burned down. You just never know.”

Geez.

It was a typical response you’d expect to receive from a mother. Always thinking of the kids, never the baby-sitter. I told her I fell, but that I was OK, and not to worry. She said she wouldn’t.

We hung up and I ran into the bathroom. To my horror, my upper lip was about the size of a huge watermelon and about the color of Barney. And, my lip was stuck fast to my braces.

I started to worry that my lip would be stuck to my braces for the rest of my life. I thought about all the little things I would miss, especially if I ever got a boyfriend, which I probably wouldn’t, since I now had a deformed lip.

I stopped daydreaming and almost started to cry. I tugged and pulled on my lip, but it wouldn’t come undone.

I started to pray. I promised God if he did just this one favor and let me get my lip unstuck, I wouldn’t ever do anything bad again - in my entire life. I even promised I’d never beat up my brother again.

He must not have believed me, however, because my lip didn’t come undone.

I had to resort to calling my parents, while my brother sat and laughed at me.

They came over and asked what happened. I told them the truth: It was all Pat’s fault. If he would’ve answered the phone, I wouldn’t have been in the predicament that I was in.

My parents called Alex and Austin’s parents and they came home. My parents tried to hold back their laughter as they told me they were sorry. Gee, I felt so much better.

Mom tried to reach my orthodontist, but it was kind of difficult, because he was at a party.

While she was telephoning, I could feel my lip expanding. Mom finally reached the orthodontist and explained the story. I heard a slight chuckle over the phone, and then she hung up. My orthodontist said we should meet him at his office.

I sat in the back seat of our car and Mom kept looking back to make sure that I wasn’t dead, even though I wished I were.

We got to his office around 11 that night.

He said, “I see we got ourselves into a little accident.” As if I didn’t already know that. He had me sit in a chair and told me to relax as he pulled out this unusually long needle. He said the shot he was going to give me would hurt a little and my lip would go numb.

He gave me the shot. Nothing happened. After five shots, I finally felt what he was talking about. My lip went somewhat numb.

He pulled out a weird looking instrument and began to pull my lip away from the braces. The problem was, I could still feel my lip a little bit - but I decided not to mention it since I wasn’t up for another shot. Finally, my lip was separated from my braces.

I was relieved.

When spring break ended, my lip was beginning to resemble a human lip again. Except for the imprint of my two front braces on the inside of my lip, I was pretty impressed.

When my friends asked me what I did over spring break, I had a real reason about why I stayed in and did nothing the entire week.

MEMO: Stacey M. Johnson is 18 years old and lives with her parents in Spokane.