Marriage Busted Before The Divorce

Ivana Trump lives in another universe, one in which the beings reek of privilege. So while the advice she offers in her self-help book “The Best Is Yet to Come” may have a sound basis, the way she expresses it prevents most of us from taking her seriously.

For example, she tells a story about a friend, whom she calls Cassandra, who wanted breast-reduction surgery. “She had a little too much bosom,” Ivana writes. “Okay, way too much bosom.”

But there was a problem.

“Cassandra would have had her breasts done in a minute, but her husband didn’t want her to.” His stated reason: “The very idea was disgusting to him; it would leave her with scars, etc., etc., etc.”

But the real reason, Ivana writes, had to do with power. Cassandra’s husband wanted his wife to remain insecure, which Ivana sees as a usual trait of husbands. It is, she writes, “some kind of sadistic or nasty instinct in them, I don’t know.”

As for Cassandra, “Well, when Cassandra got a divorce, you know she practically went straight from the courthouse to the plastic surgeon. She’s still got plenty left, and she looks great, just fantastic, because now everything’s in proportion.”

I imagine those women, not to mention men, who go from the courthouse to the food-stamp line must derive a world of solace from Ivana’s words.

Question is, what world are we talking about? Something near Betelgeuse?

Rumi ruminations: The writings of Jalaluddin Rumi, a 13th-century Sufi mystic, is the subject of a workshop that will be held Sept. 30 at the Nippon Kan Theatre in Seattle.

“An Evening of Rumi” will be led by Coleman Barks, a professor of creative writing at the University of Georgia and translator of Rumi poetry, who was featured on “The Language of Life With Bill Moyers.”

The evening will include music and dancing. Tickets are $15 and can be ordered through Limbus Books & Tapes of Vashon Island. For information, call (206) 463-9387.

High on Bly: If you haven’t gotten the word, Robert Bly is coming to Spokane for a weekend workshop on Oct. 6-8.

Bly will read from his award-winning poetry on Friday, Oct. 6, and will join fellow men’s-movement authors John Lee (“Facing the Fire”) and Michael Gurian (“The Prince and the King”) in workshops on Saturday and Sunday.

For registration information, call 624-1436.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: Common Ground is written on alternating weeks by Dan Webster and Rebecca Nappi. Write to them in care of The Spokesman-Review, Features Department, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615. Or fax, (509) 459-5098.