Madonna To The Nation: ‘I’M No Sexual Obsessive’

Ya just gotta shake your head, right? It’s like, hey, Madonna, get a freakin’ clue, OK?

Talking to Forrest Sawyer on Wednesday’s “PrimeTime Live,” the pop diva was shocked that people think she is obsessed with sex.

Imagine that. The same woman who has shoved the conjugal act in our collective face for a decade insisted that she is not “this raving nymphomaniac who is obsessed with sex and with shocking people.”

Take Robert De Niro, she said. When he changes himself for a movie role, “it’s looked at as art. When I do it, it’s looked at as evil and manipulative. And I don’t understand that.”

No? Well, now she wants to be a mommy. So she said that after her film “Evita” wraps, she’s gonna advertise for help. “Who knows who’s gonna apply for, you know, that fatherhood thing?” she said.

Loose talk

A regal Princess Diana, while speaking at a charity function for United Cerebral Palsy Monday night in the Manhattan Hilton, answering a heckler’s question of “Where’s your children, Diana?”: “At school.”

So, OK for Patty, but what about poor Cathy?

Patty Duke turns 49 today.

Imagine if they switched bodies for just one day

And now we present Kathie Lee Gifford vs. Howard Stern. Responding to his regular trashing of her, Gifford told TV Guide, “If I disturb him because I’m everything he’s not, it’s the ultimate compliment.” As for Stern: “I don’t really hate her. I just comment and goof on her… She’s America’s sweetheart, and I’m America’s nightmare.”

At least he didn’t liposuction his brain pan

Robert Blake, at 61 enjoying a comeback with “Money Train,” had a facelift. But he’s not happy abut it. “It sucks, what’s happening to our society,” he says. “Every chick’s got a chest full of Styrofoam, and we all encourage each other to do it. I’m sorry I gave in.”

One thing: He won’t need help lugging his bags

Fame continues to have its pitfalls. The marriage of Nick Turturro, 38, and Jami Biunno, 31, is ending after 11 years. Despite his new-found fame as a detective on “NYPD Blue,” and parts in such films as “Federal Hill,” Turturro spent most of his time since leaving his Queens high school working as a doorman at Manhattan’s St. Moritz Hotel.

Is anyone out there interested in being No. 8?

It’s apparent that Larry Fortensky, the soon-to-be ex-husband (No. 7) of Elizabeth Taylor, got a good settlement when the marriage faltered. He’s leasing a $500,000 home in Encino, Calif., at the tune of $2,800 a month. Not bad for a construction guy. Then, too, he’s said to be seeing a masseuse named Maggie Nitz who lives two blocks away.

All we have to say is ZZZZZZzzzzz-snort-ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

For the second year in a row, the winner of the Boring Institute’s annual most boring celebrity title is… O.J. Simpson. Runners-up include Kato Kaelin, Johnnie Cochran, Michael Jackson, Hugh Grant, Jim Carrey, Elizabeth Taylor, Anna Nicole Smith and Connie Chung.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster