Don’t Tolerate The Intolerable
A recent study of television and newspaper habits concluded that people who watch a lot or read a lot of news live in a meaner world than people who do not consume as much “news.” News junkies have a tendency to become cynics or pessimists and their attitude bears little relationship to the real dangers of the world they live in.
The multiplication of news sources and the expansion to bad news from everywhere, rather than just the regional bad news we used to get, never give us a break. Try tuning it out for a week. You will be amazed at how your world begins to improve and your free-floating anxiety lessens. Don’t secede, just rest. Anxiety, even if it’s manufactured anxiety, makes us cranky.
Dear Jennifer: I’m sitting here reading your year-end column - your essay on the “evolution” of homo sapiens. You say we need to redefine our intelligence to include caring for others, caring for our planet and otherwise loving one another as God commanded. I need to ask, “Where do we start?”
Do we start with television and the violence, profanity and meanness in various forms that spew out into our homes daily? Do we send a message to Hollywood saying, “Look, we’re fed up with sex and violence?” Do we condemn the drivel that goes on in Congress where decent laws are voted down in the name of politics?
Do we send out mixed messages to our young and then sit back and shake our heads? Please write a column and give us some suggestions, addresses, etc. so that we can begin to turn this around. - Marie
Dear Marie: It is the American way to fight for what you believe in, so do all of the things you have suggested. Turn off the television when it violates your values and write to the sponsors telling them you will boycott their products. That is what civil rights activists did in the 1950s and it broke the back of racism.
Tune into CNN, PBS, NPR, Discovery, A&E or whichever networks you think offer something other than mayhem and meanness. Let the sponsors know what you will accept or reject.
Write to your newspaper and complain when you encounter misleading headlines, gratuitous violence, invasion of privacy or what you perceive to be hype, injustice or unfairness. Do the same with Hollywood and other entertainment sources that you do with television.
Let politicians know you will not tolerate the acceptance of side deals from lobbyists, the useless namecalling, the mindless conflict and simplistic thinking that they engage in. Don’t tune in, out of curiosity, to talk shows that offer negative energy. When such shows lie about and insult the nation’s leaders, young people assume it is an acceptable way to debate issues.
Join groups such as Mothers Against Violence In America, (206) 343-0676 or 1-800-987-7697. It would be wonderful if their membership someday equalled that of the NRA. Tell your school that you want a curriculum for the future with more emphasis on thinking skills and cooperative relationships than competitive contact sports.
Insist your schools have zero tolerance for racism, sexism and any form of physical or psychological harassment, not covert acceptance. When it happens, every adult in the school has to be prepared to take quick, clear action. Social coercion is a powerful tool for changing mores. Some schools have organized “shark” patrols of students to keep their peers civil much as traffic patrols once kept them in the crosswalk.
Parents must back up schoolteachers and administrators on virtually everything, including dress codes. We are giving our children a double message by allowing violence and disrespect in our media, our community, our politics and by our support of students’ rights when they are contrary to the common good. We give our children a double message when we encourage disrespect, violence or harassment for one cause while deploring it for a cause we do support.
One of the reasons some citizens stopped demanding civil behavior in the 1960s and became more concerned with civil liberties was because such civility in the form of language and manners had long been associated with the upper classes who used it to humiliate and control. We must use civility to free each of us to live with respect and grace.
I will put together a list of places and organizations to contact. Please, any reader, send me your ideas and I’ll send you mine. Choose an area of interest that fits your lifestyle and remake your commitment to the community and our shared future. We could easily make a difference if we cared. - Jennifer
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