Help Child In Transition To New Day-Care

Q. My husband and I are blessed with the most wonderful licensed day-care provider for our 23-month-old son. He has been going to her since the age of 6 months.

However, her license only allows her to watch children up to the age of 2 years. This fall we will have to find another place for our son, and we realize that a switch to a new provider may be traumatic.

What should we do to make the transition as smooth as possible for him? - K.S., Aurora, Colo.

A. You are wise to think about this ahead of time. It will be tough for your son, and he may mourn the loss of such a friend. But it’s a good age for him to get into a group of peers.

Start him out slowly in the new group - once a week at first, if possible. Sit with him if he needs you.

You might also try to woo another child from the new group for him. Take them out together, so they can become friends. This will make it easier for your son to enter the new group.

One more thing: After he leaves the first day-care provider, take him back to see her a few times so he won’t feel she’s deserted him.

Q. Our 3-year-old daughter engages in what seems to be auto-erotic behavior on a regular basis. This has been going on for slightly over one year.

Mostly, she will straddle her blanket while lying on the floor or couch and rock back and forth. She usually does this when she is tired.

Our response has been mixed. For a while, we ignored it. Now we always tell her to stop. She has two older sisters who didn’t do this, and we’re concerned because she doesn’t seem to be growing out of it.

How would you recommend the situation be handled? - B.D., Brick, N.J.

A. Are you worried about her adjustment otherwise?

Is she doing well in all other areas - with her friends, with her sisters, etc.?

If she’s responding appropriately to people, you needn’t be too worried.

Masturbation at her age is like thumbsucking; it’s a resource to help her calm down or retreat from an exciting world.

You might want to ask her to go to her room when she does this. Explain to her that it can bother other people.

But I wouldn’t prohibit it completely, for that may just intensify the behavior. If it becomes more intense and contributes to a kind of withdrawal, you should consult a therapist.

This symptom is not serious by itself, but it may be your daughter’s way of covering up some kind of anguish or difficulty in handling her environment.

xxxx

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Dr. T. Berry Brazelton New York Times Syndicate