Worlds Together Opening Your Home Can Open Your Heart And Mind As The Knight Family Discovered When They Hosted Two Japanese Women Here To Study American Life And Culture

Twenty-two years ago I traveled to Asia as a youth. I visited Taiwan, Hong Kong and Thailand, and spent 22 months in Japan. The experience was something I will never forget.

As a husband and father, I have always wished for more cultural learning opportunities for my family.

Several months ago, a newspaper article announced that the Community Colleges of Spokane were seeking host families for a group of Japanese housewives who were coming to study American life and culture. A phone call later, we were signed up for the program. Originally, we had asked for a younger woman, to fit in with our active family life. We have four children - two girls, 8 and 17, and two boys, 10 and 15. With such an age range, it’s often challenging to find activities that interest everyone. However, we all agreed that hosting a visitor from Japan would be fun. Less than two weeks before our guest was to arrive, we got a phone call. There had been a change in plans, and we were asked if we could take two women instead of one. We agreed.

We also learned our visitors would be a bit older. One was 49 and the other was 65! We were a little concerned, but decided to go ahead. We picked them up Friday evening at the program coordinator’s South Hill home. They had been traveling nonstop since leaving Japan, but were still energetic. As we drove back to the Valley, they were like little children - amazed at all the new things they saw, pointing, laughing and asking questions about things which are commonplace to us. It was rush hour when we drove home, and the freeway was busy. Yet they commented at how few cars were on the road. They told us about the terrible traffic jams and accidents that occur every day in Japan.

When we got home, they gave gifts to each member of our family. There were beautiful handmade wall hangings, dolls, Japanese children’s toys, candy and homemade cookies. We had an interesting evening getting acquainted. Yoshiko, the older of the two, was well-traveled. The wife of a former executive at Isuzu Motors, she has visited several dozen foreign countries. However, this was her first visit to the U.S. She was outgoing, and acted much younger than her 65 years. (Her favorite music is hard rock, and she enjoys disco dancing and mountain climbing.)

Keiko was more the typical Japanese housewife. She and her husband worked hard to provide for their two children. She was usually more quiet and reserved, but still friendly, and became quite animated when she got excited. Their first evening with us was full of discovery. Their most frequent comments were about the size of everything: Our house was big (it’s a modest four-level); our yard was huge (we have a half-acre lot); semitrucks were big; even our children were big (our 15-year-old is nearly 6 foot).

They were surprised to see that we had two garages, and even more shocked when they learned we own six cars. (Two old cars are being restored.) They said it was very expensive to own a car in Japan. Most Japanese carpool, ride the bus or subway, or walk.

They also were surprised at the age of our cars. In Japan, any car over 10 years old is scrapped because of the high maintenance costs and mandatory inspections. Our newest car is 7 years old. They couldn’t believe we had two cars that were nearly 30 years old.

Another shock was that our daughter had bought her own car when she was 16. In Japan, you can’t even get a license until you are 18. Even then, the cost is so prohibitive that few teenagers have cars. Those who do are not allowed to drive to school. They couldn’t believe the big parking lot at Central Valley High School.

Saturday morning we went to the lake. Yoshiko and Keiko were intrigued by the whole process of hitching up the boat trailer and easing the boat into the water. They enjoyed the scenery and beautiful homes along the Spokane River, and were especially entertained by the Jetskis on the water.

We spent the next few hours on Lake Coeur d’Alene, with a stop at Mica Bay to eat lunch and explore. When we got back home, both said they had never had such an experience before.

For their next adventure, we took them shopping at Costco. Again, they were overwhelmed by the size of everything. All the packages of food seemed huge. A gallon-size jug of milk brought laughter - their milk comes in 1-liter containers (about the same as a quart).

Later that evening, they decided to go for a walk. When it began to get dark and they hadn’t returned, we started to worry. We were afraid we might become the first host family in the program to lose their guests.

Eventually, they returned. They had gotten lost and didn’t know our street name or address. Finally they knocked on a neighbor’s door and asked directions.

After attending church Sunday morning, we went to Coeur d’Alene and walked around the floating boardwalk. Back at home, our guests prepared dinner for us. They had brought their own seasoning from Japan. Everyone loved the meal - even our pickiest child. They also brought chopsticks and taught the children how to use them. (However, our teenage son found it easier to stab his food than pick it up.)

After dinner, we talked about American customs, and they shared with our family many things about Japan. Yoshiko and Keiko then spent several hours teaching us how to make origami figures. The children had a great time.

They also demonstrated the “fude,” a brush used for calligraphy and drawing. Yoshiko taught our children how to use the brush to draw and then taught them how to write their names in Katakana (the Japanese phonetic alphabet).

The following week there were activities scheduled each day for the group, including several days in Canada.

That weekend we took a more relaxed pace. On Saturday we went to a nearby park for a picnic. Drinking root beer was another new experience. Keiko didn’t like the taste, but Yoshiko enjoyed hers.

Our children still had many questions about Japan. Keiko described traditional kimonos, which cost $3,000 to $3,500. Japanese women usually get one when they turn 20, which is kind of a coming-of-age in Japan. They wear kimonos for special occasions, such as weddings, funerals and tea ceremonies.

We also discussed price differences. Gasoline in Japan costs $4 per gallon, apples and oranges about $2 each, and the price of a small watermelon is a staggering $23. Clothing is also expensive. A plain pink T-shirt that Yoshiko was wearing was $30. Jeans go for about $120 for inexpensive brands.

All of the children agreed they would not like school in Japan. Students wear uniforms, go to school 5-1/2 to 6 days a week, and attend classes in the evenings with tutors. Summer vacation is only about five weeks long, and not the kind of vacation students have here. They have as much or even more homework than they normally get during the school year.

We asked our guests what they will remember about their first trip to America.

Some of their most fun experiences included boating and taking their first ride in an “open car” (our old convertible).

The funniest experience was one that Keiko related to us - having to do with an American bathtub. In Japan, the tub is square, about 2-1/2 feet on each side and about 2 feet deep. You first wash, and then get into the tub to soak. Keiko said when she tried to sit back in our tub, she kept sliding down under the water.

When we asked our children if they enjoyed hosting our guests, they all agreed it was a lot of fun. As our 17-year-old said, “It really makes you count your blessings and appreciate all the freedoms and opportunities we have and so often take for granted in this country.”

While we all learned a lot about the differences in culture, language and traditions, we also saw how much we have in common. The important things in life for all of us center around sharing good experiences with family and friends.

Would we do it again? Absolutely. We are already signed up for another guest in a few weeks.