Performing At Al’s Club Is More Than We Can Bare

Let’s check in with that notable outsider of America’s No. 1 Family of Dysfunction, La Toya Jackson.

La Toya has been doing her “act” in that hotbed of entertainment, Eastern Europe. But that’s about to change. She’ll open her “Exotic Live Club Tour” on March 27 with a six-day stay in that hotbed of American entertainment, Reading, Pa.

She’ll be appearing at Al’s Diamond Cabaret (to which we’re attempted to add “and HotTub Spa”), a club that features “topless, bottomless” action.

And what does La Toya’s act consist of? “Well,” says her publicist, “let’s say she’ll do as much as she’s ever done in public before.”

Loose talk

Tom Hanks on his “Philadelphia” costar (in InStyle magazine): “I’m pretty sure Forrest Gump would fall in love with Antonio Banderas, too.”

Do-do-DOO-do-DOO-do…

Bobby McFerrin turns 45 today.

This is just a shameless way to list a lot of names

Carrie Fisher and Penny Marshall held a party the other night. It was just a small affair, according to the Hollywood Reporter, attracting the likes of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, Lew Wasserman, Tom Hanks, David Geffen, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Sean Connery, Barry Diller, Anjelica Huston and Neil Simon.

Perhaps he should have taken a business course

If you’re looking for a new career, consider magazine photography. Noted celebrity photographer Richard Avedon reportedly asked for a contract with The New Yorker that would have paid him in the sevenfigure category. Only problem is, the magazine turned him down. His position will now be filled by the equally noted Annie Lebovitz.

Not that they’re being possessive or anything

Here’s today’s nomination for the Too-Cute-For-Words Award. Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee have matching tattoos on their ring fingers. His says “Pamela’s,” and hers says “Tommy’s.”

So, the ability to sing is a Grammy requirement?

Let’s hear it for candor. When asked whether he would consider doing a duets album, Grammy winner Henry Rollins said, “I’m not the kind of person who gets someone to sing with them. First, I have to learn how to sing.”

Meanwhile, O.J. can see only ‘Police Story’ re-runs

Here’s an O.J. Simpson trial note: During a break on Thursday, Judge Lance Ito allowed the jury to see the movie “The Madness of King George.” Helen Mirren, of whom Ito is a big fan, starred as a police investigator in the Public Television “Mystery” series “Prime Suspect.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster