Cheap Seats

Take me out to Rosh Hashanah

For the collector who has everything, consider this: a yarmulke autographed by Sandy Koufax. Only $75 from B&J Collectibles of Lakewood, N.J. From the home office…

Always helpful David Letterman has weighed in with his Top 10 ways major league baseball teams can win back the fans:

10. New rule: Catch a foul ball, win the salary of the guy who hit it.

9. All players must squat like catcher for entire game.

8. Remember Babe Ruth? Well, hows about some more of them ballplayin’ fat dudes?

7. Instead of the National Anthem, sing “In-A-Gadda-DaVida” before every game.

6. Players can’t do drugs unless they bring enough to go around.

5. At the end of bat night, fans get to beat the crap out of home team.

4. For just three dollars over the regular ticket price, you get to “do it” with the Philly Phanatic.

3. Every time a player grabs himself you hear this (sound effects: slide whistle).

2. Buy a ticket to a Mets game - get a free ticket to a Mets trial!

1. Nine players, eight uniforms.

Delivering in the clutch

Braves infielder Mike Mordecai was on a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles last week when his beeper went off. It was his pregnant wife, saying it was time.

When he landed, Mordecai bolted to a phone and called his wife, who carried a cellular into the delivery room and gave him a long-distance play-by-play.

“It was like listening to a ballgame on the radio,” said Mordecai, now the proud papa of a healthy daughter. “My wife would do Vin Scully proud.”

Elsewhere on the maternity ward …

Toronto pitcher Danny Cox has a new baby boy named Kamdan. Seems Nancy Cox phoned her husband last May with the news she was pregnant. The Jays were in Baltimore at the time, getting ready to play the Orioles at Camden Yards.

“When she called, she said ‘Camden, I like that name,’ ” Cox said. “We just changed the spelling.”

It could be worse. The poor kid could be named Metrodome. Or Seafirst.