The Hot Seat

On a clear day he can be in trouble

Eric Skelton is in a peculiar position. He was hired to clean up the air over Spokane County. And he’s been successful. It appears that Spokane will meet federal carbon monoxide standards for the first time since 1991. But commissioners Steve Hasson and Phil Harris don’t like Skelton’s style. So, instead of getting praise, he’s faced with the dilemma of being in hot water for doing his job too well. Which is a problem neither Hasson nor Harris has ever had to deal with.

At least the government is shut down for a good reason

Well, the Republicans have been successful in their attempt to end gridlock. As a result, the government is temporarily shut down. Why? Because that big bully Bill Clinton kicked Newt Gingrich right in the self-esteem. That’s right. Clinton hurt Newt’s feelings by making him sit in the back of the airplane on their return from Yitzhak Rabin’s funeral. Being card-carrying liberals, we can’t stand to see anyone’s self-esteem degraded. We think everyone should be allowed to sit in the front of the plane.

We shouldn’t toy with these inspectors

The good news is that with the government shut down, we won’t be hearing any stories about dangerous Christmas toys being imported into the country this year. Those pesky inspectors from the Consumer Products Commission have been sent home. No more time-consuming dockside inspections and recalls that give businesses mucho headaches during the holidays. And the free flow of toys into the country gives us parents access to the full range of gizmos at the cheapest prices. After all, it’s up to us parents to make sure we buy safe toys. Right?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 photos

MEMO: The Hot Seat is an irreverent look at controversial issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer. Today’s Hot Seat was written by Scott Sines.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Scott Sines The Spokesman-Review