Baseball Game Worth Every Doggone Penny

My 9-year-old, the Huckleberry Puppette, picked up an easy $5 during last month’s American League playoff series between the M’s and Yanks. She gets a 5-spot if Papa Hound cusses during a sporting event. After the Mariners won the exciting finale and calm was restored, the Puppette dutifully handed me this note: “‘Jackass’ is a bad word. I looked it up in the American Heritage Dictionary under Number 2 in the defanion (sic) of ‘jackass.’ ‘Dogone’ (sic) is also sorta of a bad word. So is ‘darn.’ I looked in the dictionary. It says it means euphemism for ‘damn.’ And that means you owe me 5 dollars.” I see the kid’s spelling is improving.

Like father, like son

Senior Jesse Hoorelbeke wowed Generation Next at a recent CdA High karaoke with his version of “Hotel California.” And he wasn’t lip-syncing either. Apparently, the CHS third baseman is a chip off the ol’ amplifier. Papa Pete, now recovered from a batting-practice line drive off the noggin (Huckleberries, April 10), sang for the early-1970s band, Rare Earth.

Nicotine fit

On Dworshak Reservoir, ex-smoker Gov. Phil Batt had fun with Attorney General Al Lance by proclaiming the lake smoke-free. As nicotine withdrawals seized his crestfallen companion, however, Batt saved the day by granting him immunity. So says Our Woman In Boise. … Idaho cons, though, will need executive clemency, too, to prevent their smoking woes from worsening. Seems a ban on matches has forced them to fork out $15 for plug-in lighters, and they don’t like it. But next year, when the state eliminates smoking in the jug altogether, they’ll consider the high-priced lighters part of the good ol’ days. … Finally, from points south, Batt opened his talk to the Associated Taxpayers of Idaho Wednesday with this: “I thought I’d take time from discussing nuclear waste to discuss something relatively pleasant - like taxes.” Ba-dum-bum. Onward.

Hydroplane Hassell

During the recent City Council discussion on hydroplanes, CdA Councilman Kevin Packard remarked he was “barely born” when CdA last hosted hydroplane races (1968). At that point, Mayor Al Hassell acknowledged Councilman Ron Edinger: “The man who was already on the council when Mr. Packard was born.” … Ron’s brother Dick was popping buttons all over my Window Seat on Northwest Boulevard last Monday after being named the state’s Highway Commissioner of the Year. Attaboy. … Murray residents didn’t take kindly to the creep who stole several items, including a bucket of marbles, from Walt Almquest’s Sprag Pole museum. Said one: “I guess whoever it was must have been missing a few and needed a refill.” According to the Idaho News Observer, that was the nicest thing that was said.

Huckleberries

Borah Elementary Schoolers have a sure-fire method for remembering how to arrange the vowels in “COEUR d’Alene.” They recite: “Oscar Eats Ugly Rats.” … Don’t be annoyed by all the leaves blowing out of city trucks barreling to the dump this time of year. Drivers aren’t required to cover their loads. So many leaves, so little time. … Quotable Quotes: “I know people don’t think we do anything back there in Congress,” says Nils Johnson, an aide for U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s who often worked into the wee hours on the Coeur d’Alene basin cleanup bill. “But we sure spend an awful lot of time at whatever it is we’re not doing.”

Parting shot

Khris Bershers, Congressman Helen Chenoweth’s press aide, sends along a Capitol Hill gossip column, “Open Secrets of the Hill.” Seems House Republicans, faced with a government shutdown earlier this month, caught the column’s attention by praying for divine guidance. Wondered the rumormonger: “Could it be the start of a new tradition?” Hopefully. … Of course, we know now that God RSVPed: “Shut the suckers down.” (No, Puppette, “suckers” is not a dirty word.)

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline, (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review