We’re Still Dreaming Of A Guy Named Cochrane
You’re suffering from O.J. withdrawal if:
10. Your husband asks for the ketchup and you scream “Objection!”
9. During your week-long Bermuda vacation, you never take off the knit cap.
8. You pay thousands to test your cat’s DNA.
7. After ordering a Big Mac, you present a 10-hour closing argument.
6. You won’t get into bed unless your wife puts on the fake Ito beard.
5. You start watching C-Span - just to hear people lying again.
4. Whenever you see a Japanese guy, you request a sidebar.
3. You drop 60 bucks to watch Kato Kaelin take a pay-per-view nap.
2. You sit down in front of a cartoon of O.J., and stare.
1. You’re having conjugal visits with yourself. — David Letterman.
Loose Talk
Comedic actress Ellen Degeneres on doing nude scenes: “No one wants to see me do that. I don’t even want to see me do that.” Let’s all pitch in and buy him a new shredder
Oliver North turns 52 today.
Ray’s still trying to work out all the Kinks
Ray Davies has disbanded the Kinks, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to retire. He’s hitting the road solo. “I’ve never really done solo gigs before,” he told the Associated Press. “I just didn’t know what my voice sounded like outside the Kinks.”
Yo, what’s up with the sprinkles on my yogurt?
Success hasn’t changed Darius Rucker much. The 29-year-old lead singer for the South Carolina group Hootie and the Blowfish still sees himself as “a mall rat.” As he told Essence magazine, “Previously I would just look around. Now I can actually buy stuff.”
What’s a little indecent exposure between friends?
In June, country singer Ty Herndon was charged in Texas with drug possession and indecent exposure. He was fined $1,000 and ordered to do 200 hours of community service on the drug charge. The indecency charge was dropped. On Tuesday, Herndon was voted best new artist on the Country Music Radio Awards. “We all support each other and we understand sometimes there is sensationalism with things that go on, and we try to protect and watch out for each other,” Herndon said.
Still, now and then, their friends probably needle them
Red Hit Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis and new guitarist Dave Navarro have both kicked heroin habits. “Telepathically, Dave and I were always connected,” Kiedis told Rolling Stone magazine. “We both came out of a near-fatal junkiedom, and we both made it to the other side of that without frying our spirit or our mind or our body.”
We wonder: Could she be a brown-eyed girl?
Reclusive Van Morrison may not be ready to get married right away, but it could happen soon. The Irish singer has reportedly bought his steady, Michelle Rocca, an $80,000 engagement ring and earrings.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 color photos
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster