It’s Easier To Pronounce Than ‘Gewurztraminer’
Malcontent? Complainer? Whiner? Greg Jefferies has been any and all of them through major-league stops in New York, Kansas City, St. Louis and now Philadelphia. Leave it to the Phillies, however, to tag him with the appropriate nickname: “Chardonnay.”
Shower stalled
They could have used a case of Greg Jefferies in Cleveland when the Indians clinched the American League Central. Clubhouse man Stan Hunter had to make a beer run after players used up 10 cases of champagne he’d stashed - spraying each other and anyone else within range. After the bubbly was gone, the Tribe grabbed anything wet.
“Tony Pena poured one gallon of milk over Wayne Kirby,” Hunter said. “Then Kirby poured a gallon of milk over Pena. Somebody also used a half-gallon of orange juice and a couple bottles of mouthwash.”
Probably left over from the Indians’ last pennant celebration.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Nothing! Chi Chi
The hit movie comedy “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar” is packing them in, but Chi Chi Rodriguez is not amused.
The 59-year-old golfer has sued the movie’s production company and Universal Pictures over the drag-queen character bearing his name. Rodriguez’s lawyers claim the character, played by John Leguizamo, engages in numerous “disreputable acts and is protrayed as sexually promiscuous.” They want to prevent the movie from being shown using his name.
“This is not a question of having a sense of humor,” said attorney Tim Fraelich. “These are two rich companies making money off of an individual whose life consists of charitable acts and altruism. To us, that’s reprehensible.
“I don’t know if it was done with malicious intent. This has nothing to do with satire. Mr. Rodriguez makes commercial use of his name and they’ve appropriated it for commercial use.”
The suit claims the movie takes an additional dig because the drag queens deride a Toyota and choose a Cadillac. Rodriguez endorses Toyota products.
An order for tortillas to go
At Texas Tech last year, the horse mascot died when it ran into a wall. Officials aren’t going to flirt with danger again. So they’ve banned the throwing of tortillas by fans.
Athletic director Bob Bockrath seems to be the stuffed shirt who’s most had his fill. “There are many of us who feel this is inappropriate behavior,” he said after ordering that 51,000 handbills be distributed at Saturday’s game against Missouri. Rules say one tortilla toss will result in a timeout to issue a warning over the public address system; more flying fajitas that reach the field mean 15 yards against the home team.
“When you toss a tortilla, you don’t know where it’s going to end up,” Bockrath said, presumably with a straight face.
No, but at least fans now have someone to aim at.
The last word …
“I wanted to cry, but I didn’t have my waterproof mascara on.”
- Owner Georgia Frontiere after the Rams knocked off the Saints in Week 2
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