The Slice You Won’t Get Much Real Use From Aunt Glady’s Present

Sat., Sept. 23, 1995

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

The official arrival of autumn means that it is time once again to pretend that sweaters can actually be worn in more than one or two narrowly defined circumstances without making you way too hot.

If looks could heal: A Whitworth professor had a bike accident that required him to go to Holy Family’s emergency room for stitches.

His wife went along to provide moral support. And, well, let’s let him pick it up from there.

“Afterwards, as I’m limping out, groaning with pain, I look forward to some sympathy from my life’s mate,” he wrote. “And what is her first remark? ‘Did you see his eyes?”’

Turns out the doctor, a guy the professor hadn’t really seen because of the position he was in while getting stitched up, is a major babe.

“Anyway, my bet is that women all over the North Side are twisting their ankles on purpose just to get into the Holy Family ER.”

Nicknames revisited: Liz Horgan reports that boys’ sports teams at her high school in Muskegon, Mich., were known as the Sea-Men.

Veg out: Pullman police recently investigated a report of an individual being struck in the eye by a radish. They determined that the incident had been an accident.

Off the book shelf: “I think that what attracts people to malls is that they are perceived as public spaces where rules of personal conduct are enforced.”- from Witold Rybczynski’s “City Life: Urban Expectations in a New World”

She’s not in Montana anymore: Kendra Okonski, a resident of the Big Sky state temporarily living in Chile, has little sympathy for Americans who complain that people frequently misspell their names. She recently spelled her name to a police officer in Santiago and was informed that there is no such name.

Key to enjoying a fair: “Being able to hold down a corndog on the Tilt-a-Whirl.” - Dave Parker, Colville

Call 1-800-553-6748: To find out about Clean ‘n Sit flushable toilet seat-cleansing towelettes.

Today’s Slice question: Are organized sports good for kids? , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

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