Anger Often A Stumbling Block In Relationships
When it’s time to work on intimacy issues, one of the biggest obstacles seems to be anger.
This is only natural, of course. To be intimate, you need to make yourself vulnerable, and vulnerability can be a scary condition. Many of us respond to it with anger.
John Lee has made a career of studying anger. He’s aware of its causes, and he holds regular workshops that feature strategies on how best to confront it.
On Saturday, May 4, Lee will conduct a one-day seminar called “Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately.” Sponsored by Ken Cochran and Lori Hansel, counselors for Spokane School District 81, the seminar will be held from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Gonzaga University’s Jepson Auditorium.
Fees are $60 ($75 after April 12) for the general public, $45 for students ($55 after April 12).
To register, make checks payable to Ken Cochran and send to: 25 W. 29th, Spokane, WA 99203. For further information, call 624-0304.
Dealing with grief: For 11 years now, Solo Strategies has been teaching both women and men how to cope with the loss of loved ones.
On April 19-20, the 1996 conference will focus, though not exclusively, on men. Titled “Three Stories: Male Perspectives on Grief,” the two-day conference will feature three keynote speakers (Steve Belzman, Paul Lewis and Don Barlow) plus a variety of panels, workshops, exhibits and activities.
Fees are $15 ($10 for widows and widowers), and there is a separate charge for professionals. For further information, call 484-8636 or (800) 344-SOLO.
Anger in action: After watching “Home For the Holidays,” Jodie Foster’s touching movie about the difficulties of dealing with parents and siblings, it’s hard not to think of John Bradshaw.
In his book “Family Secrets: The Path of Self-Acceptance and Reunion,” the therapist and best-selling author stresses how important it is to confront family issues.
Yet, he writes, addressing the problems sets up an apparent contradiction: What does it mean, for example, to separate from and yet stay connected to one’s family of origin?
“It means that we develop a strong sense of self with solid but flexible boundaries,” Bradshaw says, “and that unless we are in danger of being abused, we do everything in our power to work out conflicts and resentments with family members, no matter how anxious and difficult they may be.”
Bradshaw concludes: “Staying connected means that we have as little unfinished business with any family members as possible and that we make a real effort to value them without unrealistic expectations about what we will get in return.”
, DataTimes MEMO: Common Ground is written on alternating weeks by Dan Webster and Rebecca Nappi. Write to them in care of The Spokesman-Review, Features Department, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615. Or fax, (509) 459-5098.