Cheap Seats
And we thought it meant rhythm and dues
In auto racing, R&D stands for research and development. Most of the time. Drag racing mechanic Scott Walker, seen studying the inner workings of Al Hofmann’s new Pontiac funny car, gave a new version.
“I’m doing some R&D,” he said. “That’s rob and duplicate.”
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie…
The Cleveland Indians have apologized to New York pitcher Steve Howe for the poor taste displayed in the choice of music that greeted his appearance in Tuesday’s 7-1 Yankees victory.
Howe, of course, has been suspended seven times for offenses related to alcohol and drug abuse. So as he warmed up in the eighth inning, strains of Billy Joel’s “Big Shot” blared through the speakers - beginning with the lyric, “You’ve got a Dom Perignon in your hand and a spoon up your nose.”
Indians vice president Bob DiBiasio delivered the apology through Yankees media director Richard Cerrone.
“I hadn’t even heard it,” Howe said. “I was so nervous at the time I was trying not to swallow my bubble gum.”
Poor taste? Poor taste is making Steve Howe a millionaire when any other substance abuser of his expertise would have had to do time.
Have you ever said the ‘W’ word?
Canadians were horrified after national TV played tapes of Toronto’s win over the Bulls, and coming through clearly was Raptors center Oliver Miller yelling at Bulls center (and native Canadian) Bill Wennington: “I’ll kick your white (butt).”
Which left Miller to explain about NBA trash talking: “I want everyone to know I’m not a racist. If I had said, ‘I’ll kick your black (butt),’ would anyone have noticed? Would you have put that in the paper? You say things in the heat of battle.”
Ollie’s defenders noted earlier in the game that Miller yelled he was going to “dunk over Michael Jordan’s black (butt).” Explained Atlanta forward Grant Long: “The basketball court is one of the last places on earth you can have freedom of speech.”
Great Moments in Running It Up, Part II
Just in case you thought the 71-1 trouncing St. Francis College of Illinois gave Robert Morris in baseball last week was bad, be advised that in the European junior hockey championships, the Netherlands defeated Turkey 40-0.
Angels in the outfield seats
Maybe players don’t care who signs the checks, but Chili Davis seems pumped about the deal that saw the Disney Co. buy a controlling interest of the California Angels. The best part in his mind is the renovation at Anaheim Stadium, where most of the outfield seats will be removed.
“It should look real nice,” Davis said. “And when they take all the people who sit out there now - all three of them - and move them over it will make the crowds look bigger.”
The last word …
“Before I retired, I was going to get a stolen base - even if I had to steal it.”
- Tigers slugger Cecil Fielder, who stole second against the Twins after 1,097 games without a steal
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