Give Warning With The Money
Dear Ann Landers: A few weeks ago, I placed an ad in the “Personals,” and that is how I met “Jack.” We had a few long (and interesting) phone conversations, and I was quite optimistic about meeting him.
Our first date was at a nice restaurant. I was prepared to pay for my share, but he insisted on picking up the total tab. We then went on to the lounge area of the restaurant, and again, he paid the bill. Next, we went to a coffee bar and had coffee and a scone, his treat. The evening lasted a little over three hours.
Jack said a few things during the course of the evening that led me to conclude that I didn’t wish to continue our acquaintance. When he phoned a few days later, I told him I didn’t think we were compatible and saw no point in making another date. He sounded hurt and asked for an explanation, which I declined to give. End of story? Not really.
A few days later, Jack left a voice message requesting that I call him to discuss the matter. I did not return his call. A week later, I received in the mail a bill for what he had spent on me. I ignored it.
About a month later, I received three envelopes from Jack at my place of business. I recognized the return address and stamped them “Return to Sender.” Now I’m wondering what he’ll pull next. I’ve been stalked before, and I don’t care to re-live that hell. Filing a restraining order costs at least $500. How do I get rid of Jack? - Apprehensive in Houston
Dear Houston: Too bad you ignored the bill he sent. You should have paid it. Now it appears you have a nut case on your hands and an angry one at that.
Send Jack a check at once, with a note saying you’re sorry things didn’t work out and you don’t want to hear from him again. If he sends additional envelopes, return them with a note saying you consider his unwanted correspondence “stalking” and if he sends another, you are going to the police. Then do it.
Dear Ann Landers: My brother, “Joey,” just turned 29. He still lives at home with Mom and Dad, does not have a job and hasn’t tried to find one. He has no savings, pays no rent and comes and goes as he pleases. Mom does his laundry.
I have been out of my parents’ house since I went away to college. Joey did not go to college, but he is extremely well-read. His philosophy of life, however, is a bit off-beat. He feels that too many people work a lifetime at jobs they do not enjoy and says he could never be “one of those.”
I believe my loving parents are doing Joey a disservice by allowing him to remain jobless and live at home, without paying anything.
The problem is that I can’t get through to anybody - my brother or my parents. Joey keeps talking about “plans” that never materialize, and my father, an extremely hard-working man, seems to be completely confounded but says nothing. Mom is too nice for her own good. She says she could never ask a child of hers to move out of the house.
Please tell me what to do. - Needing Guidance in Miami Beach
Dear Miami: It is not up to you to do anything. It appears that Joey has hornswoggled Mom and Dad, and apparently, they don’t mind having him around.
When one or both of your parents wake up to the realization that they are enabling their son to be a freeloader, they may lower the boom. I hope it is soon, for his sake as well as theirs.