Off-Season Changes Rampant
It has been a dizzying baseball winter with movement everywhere - except on the labor front, of course. While you were sleeping, shopping and freezing, Rickey Henderson became a Padre … and so did Wally Joyner. Otis (Suitcase) Nixon joined his fourth team in five years when he replaced Devon White in center for the Blue Jays. White is now a Marlin, as is Al Leiter, another transplanted Blue Jay. And Robbie Alomar is a bird of a different feather, now nesting in Baltimore as part of a flock that includes David Wells, B.J. Surhoff, Randy Myers, Kent Mercker and Roger McDowell.
The only team that figures to do a bigger scorecard business than the Orioles is the Yankees, who have already turned over nearly 25 percent of their roster. There will be no Don Mattingly in the Bronx this year, just as there will be no Sparky Anderson in a dugout and no real commissioner at 350 Park Ave. You can pretty much assume there will be no labor deal, either.The baseball land scape has changed sufficiently enough to prompt some burning questions in the cold of winter.
Q: Besides “small market distress” what will be the most overused words in baseball this year?
A: “Beleaguered manager Joe Torre” and “exclusive interview with The Boss.”
Q: In another winter of dumb and dumber owners, which were the dumbest contracts doled out?
A: Dumb was the small-market Twins giving 34-year-old Rick Aguilera $9 million over three years to become a starter again.
Dumber was the Cardinals giving $4 million a year to Andy Benes, who had a 5.40 ERA in the divisional playoffs last year and couldn’t get out of the third inning of his only start in the ALCS.
Dumbest was the Yankees giving a five-year, $20 million contract to Tino Martinez, who had absolutely had no leverage being two years away from free agency.
Q: Why are has-beens Eric Davis and Chris Sabo wearing Reds uniforms again?
A: Marge Schott probably thinks they’re gate attractions and a remedy for all those empty seats in the playoffs last year. She also figures to save a few bucks on Oldtimers Day.
Q: Who are the Cardinals’ new owners now that Anheuser-Busch has taken its Clydesdales back to the brewery?
A: It’s the Pulitzer publishing group minus Roxanne and her trumpet.
Q: What is baseball’s newest odd couple?
A: Disney and Gene (The Singing Cowboy) Autry as owners of the Angels. Or Mickey, Goofy and the Beagle Boys meet Rudolph the rednosed reindeer.
Q: Why is Joe McIlvaine smiling?
A: Because his entire starting rotation is earning less than what the Rockies will be paying Bret Saberhagen (due for a second shoulder surgery) to be on the disabled list this year.
Q: What will be George Steinbrenner’s worst nightmares?
A: Kenny Rogers, good ol’ Florida boy, developing Ed Whitson Disease, Tim Raines having as many errors in left field as stolen bases, and Mike Stanley hitting 35-plus homers over the Green Monster.
Q: How happy was the belt-tightening Tribune Corp. when Ryne Sandberg informed them he was coming out of retirement to resume drawing his $2 million plus per year pay from the Cubs?
A: About as happy as that fan who attacked Randy Myers in Wrigley Field last year.
Q: What’s next for the new Orioles’ bullpen of Myers, Roger McDowell and Jesse Orosco?
A: Not sure, but we hear Doug Sisk is anxiously waiting by the phone.
Q: Doesn’t anyone want Darryl Strawberry?
A: Not really, except White Sox board chairman Jerry Reinsdorf may take up George Steinbrenner’s humanitarian efforts to help Darryl make his child support payments.