What Really Burns Bill Is He’s Such A Smart Alec

You may recall those recent headlines about Alec Baldwin being charged with battery for roughing up a photographer snapping shots of him and wife Kim Basinger bringing home baby.

But Baldwin has been waging a less-publicized - though no less bitter - war of words with one William H. Addeo in the letters column of Long Island’s East Hampton Star.

Addeo, who refers to Baldwin as one of “Hollywood’s 110 biggest perverts,” challenged the actor to a charity boxing bout. “I would love to transform the bleeding heart liberal,” Addeo wrote. “After all, they say a conservative is a liberal that got mugged.”

Baldwin, who refers to Addeo as “Wild Bill,” fancifully accuses his family of being “wasteful warmongers … ignorant … hateful … blind boorish beasts” who “refused to compost their banana peels.”

Loose talk

Julia Roberts, in one of many messages back and forth with new beau Matthew Perry (of “Friends”): “I love a man who can fax me five times in one day.”

Let’s hope he doesn’t feel too rotten about it

John Lydon turns 40 today.

Oh, he means one of those glass menageries

Speaking of the Baldwin/Basinger babe, Alec and Kim are so thrilled with three-month-old Isabella Ireland that they’re planning on having more, and maybe adopting a few. “If I have my way, I’ll be like Bobby Kennedy,” Baldwin told the “Extra” TV show. “I’ll have the big house on the hill, and I’ll have 10 kids running around breaking windows.”

Give her a ring, and you might get one back

You’ll never get a “Dear John” letter from supermodel Tyra Banks; she’s strictly a break-up-by-telephone kind of gal. “It’s very detached,” Banks explains in GQ magazine. “I’m always saying to myself, ‘Let it be an answering machine! And don’t return the call!”’

But it’s a nightmare for the poor proofreaders

Donald Trump is getting tired of seeing his ex-wife referred to as Ivana Trump. When he spots a violation, The Donald fires off a note saying: “It would be appropriate for you to address my former wife, Ivana, as Ivana Mazzucchelli … It is only fair to her current husband to do so.”

Guess you could call it the ultimate pickup line

Cher, still searching for the right boy, reportedly shelled out big bucks for a black 1954 Chevy truck - complete with a $100,000 sterling silver and black leather interior - as a magnet for motor-minded males.

He’s still out there searching for a sole mate

James Earl Jones, on what he once did for love (in InStyle magazine): “It was a long time ago, when I was working at Lincoln Center. I walked in the dressing room of two actresses. I had a jar of Nivea cream. I said, ‘Ladies, take your shoes off, it’s foot massage time!’ I massaged and massaged. I felt some heat, but I didn’t score with either one.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino