Unhurried Pace Can Pay Off, Too
Dear Ann Landers: I have enjoyed your columns on how people met and thought you might like this story.
When I was in high school, I often visited twins who lived next door to “Robert.” He was much older than I and working. Over the years, when we ran into each other at the grocery store, he would say, “Hello,” and nothing more.
I retired from teaching in 1980, and my husband died in 1982. My daughter-in-law persuaded me to join a bowling league, and I was amazed at how much fun it was. When I saw Robert at the store, I mentioned what a great time I was having bowling. He joined a league, too, and I saw him quite often, but it was still “hello” and nothing more.
One night after bowling, my car wouldn’t start, and Robert drove me home. The conversation was very casual, and then, he said, “How about if I asked you out on a real date?” We went out for dinner, and I was delighted to find out how much we had in common. The only hitch was that I was at least four inches taller than Robert. He said it didn’t matter to him.
Three months later, we went to Reno together for a bowling tournament and decided to get married there. When Robert admitted to the clerk at the courthouse that this was his first marriage (at age 71), she looked at him and said, “How did you manage to escape so long?”
We certainly surprised a lot of people. When we went to Florida to visit Robert’s family, he told his brother to look for “a tall lady being trailed by a little old man.”
We still bowl regularly, travel a lot and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last April. - Smiling in Sacramento
Dear Smiling in Sacramento: I’m smiling in Chicago. Your delightful story proves that love can blossom slowly and the participants need not be bowled over.
Dear Ann Landers: I am an inmate at Oregon State Penitentiary in Salem, Ore., serving a life sentence for aggravated murder. You asked anyone with an answer to the problem of abuse in American prisons to send it in, so here’s mine.
Unless the state can afford to imprison offenders for life, it would be better to adopt some behavior modification. My proposal calls for half-term release incentives for inmates willing to take intensive educational, vocational and behavior modification courses. Upon completion of these courses, the inmate would be paroled, monitored (if needed) and compelled to work full-time and compensate the state for his expenses by contributing one-third of his income for the time the state forgave.
Experts agree that it is not the time a prisoner serves behind bars that benefits him and society but the changes he is willing to make. Continuing to punish offenders by imposing longer and longer sentences is not dealing realistically with the situation.
The problems of rehabilitation should be addressed while the state has the full attention of the offenders, when they are relatively free of social pressure and substance abuse. I’m sure if legislators would put their resources to work, they could find ways to support alternative sentencing. - B.H., Oregon
Dear B.H.: You bring up some good suggestions. Personally, I like the idea of inmates working while incarcerated and being paid for it. For some, it will be a new experience and could conceivably set them on the right road. Thank you.