First, It’s Fad, Then It’s Bad
Dear Ann Landers: My 38-year-old daughter and her third husband split up, and I am now the legal guardian for her two children. The boy, who is almost 18, is no trouble at all. The 16-year-old girl, however, is a real handful.
“Greta” has been going with a 20-year-old boy for several months, and this kid is a real nut. He is into tattoos and piercing in a big way. This is none of my business, and I don’t care what he does to himself, but he has tattooed a big heart on Greta’s rear end - arrows, initials, his and hers, the whole bit.
Even more upsetting is the piercing. Greta now has rings in her ears and nose, on her tongue, breasts and navel and one down south, if you know what I mean.
I worry that these metal rings might cause some serious problems later on. Greta is not the least bit concerned. Will you please check this out and let me know? - Worried Grandma in Oklahoma
Dear Grandma: The major risk involved in body piercing is infection, but apparently, Greta has escaped that. As for the tattoo on Greta’s rear end, she is going to have that for the rest of her life unless she has it removed, which is enormously time-consuming and costly.
The piercing causes no lasting problems, but Greta’s going to find herself virtually unemployable unless she removes several of those rings. Body piercing is quite a fad now, but this, too, shall pass, and those who have gone in for it are destined to be stuck with some holes in unwanted places.
Dear Ann Landers: Movies and television often portray men as lazy idiots who can’t manage to get a beer from the fridge without a wife’s help. I just want people to know there are exceptions.
When I was married, I did my share of housework - cooking, laundry, cleaning and changing diapers. After my wife divorced me, I had custody of our two children. I worked 12 hours a day, seven days a week, at a hotel. I took my children to school every day, picked them up and did ALL of our cooking, cleaning and laundry.
I did everything to make those children happy. They were very good students, well-adjusted, with no behavioral problems.
I just wanted you to know that some men can get their own sodas from the fridge, raise their children and have a complete and happy life without a wife. The only thing I missed was having another adult to hold the sheets at one end so I could fold them properly. - Self-Sufficient in North Miami, Fla.
Dear S.S. in N.M.: You sound like a real catch to me. It’s surprising that nobody has snagged you. I’m glad you didn’t give me your address because a lot of women are going to ask for it, and I’m able to say I don’t know.
Dear Ann Landers: Please let me know if there is any state in the United States that allows first cousins to marry. We are aware of the genetic consequences of such a union and do not intend to have children. - Anxious in Arkansas
Dear Arkansas: There are, indeed, states that have no prohibition against first cousins marrying. The closest one to Arkansas is Tennessee.
Gem of the Day: I must say, television is very educational. The minute someone turns it on, I go to the library and find a good book. - Groucho Marx
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