Cheap Seats

It’s a lineup set in stone

On a recent visit to Oakland, where workers are fixing up the Coliseum, J.T. Snow, Don Slaught and Rex Hudler of the California Angels tossed their bats into the concrete being poured in the right-field bleachers.

For the privilege, they gave workers two balls autographed by the team. “When they tear this place down in 100 years, somebody might find those bats,” Snow said. They’ll probably think, ‘Snow, Hudler, Slaught? Who were those guys?’

That’s what they’re thinking NOW.

Two thumbs down

Jerry Tarkanian isn’t through with his bit part in the motion picture movie “Sixth Man,” filming in Seattle. And neither is Fresno State.

In the movie, Tarkanian coaches Fresno State to a win over Washington, and he’ll return in a few weeks for a scene in which the Bulldogs are playing for the national championship.

In real life, of course, Tark’s team couldn’t take advantage of a sugar-coated road through the NIT. But that’s another movie. In “Sixth Man,” Fresno State ends up playing for the national title.

Tark has a few lines, mainly to keep his players back from participating in a fracas.

It’s Tarkanian’s fourth flick. He had a spot in “Honeymoon in Vegas,” eating a sandwich around a poker table. He was also in “Blue Chips” with a classic line, claiming he couldn’t get a player in school. And he was technical adviser as well as a coach in the “Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.”

The Showtime movie portraying Tarkanian, played by Dennis Hopper, is still in the infant stages.

Let’s get this straight. Northwestern running back Darnell Autry has to take the NCAA to court for the right to take part in a movie as part of his drama major, but it’s OK for Tark to pump out cheap flicks every off-season?

Imbecile in the outfield

As you may recall, actor Charlie Sheen bought all the tickets in a left-field section of Anaheim Stadium at an Angels game earlier this month, hoping to catch a home run ball, but none were hit his way.

Said the Angels’ Chuck Finley, “He should have bought tickets when I was pitching.”

Turning up the Heat on Alonzo

Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning talked a big game, then disappeared for much of his team’s first-round series against Chicago, won in three games by the Bulls.

Mourning, who committed 13 turnovers in Games 1 and 2, couldn’t even get the better of journeyman Bulls center Luc Longley. “He’s very predictable,” Longley surmised. “I don’t care for his game.”

As Los Angeles Times writer Mark Heisler put it, “Trouble is Luc Longley sneering at the man you’re about to pay $15 million a year.”

The last word …

“We had three fights and he got the decision in two, but you look at him now, you know who won them all.”

- Former heavyweight champion Joe Frazier, on epic battles with Muhammad Ali

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo