Here’s A Truly Fitting Tribute

Dear Ann Landers: I am sending you a poem of mine that I’d like you to consider printing for Memorial Day. I think your readers would enjoy the tribute to those who have served our country. - John T. Bird, Birmingham, Ala.

Dear John Bird: Thank you for your contribution to this space. The sentiment is beautiful, and your timing was perfect. Here it is:

Last Monday in May

We pause to remember those who died

with so much courage, so much pride.

They’ll never come back,

but memories endure

to remind us of freedom: fragile, pure.

We’re worthy of their sacrifice

if we pause each day

not just on the last Monday in May.

Dear Ann Landers: I am writing on behalf of every person who has a loved one in a nursing home.

My husband and I witnessed my grandmother’s complete loss of dignity during our last visit. While we were in the room, an aide proceeded to give Grandma a sponge bath. My husband was very uncomfortable and left the room. I stayed. This aide never even bothered to shut the door, leaving Grandma completely exposed to everyone who passed by. I just stood there in shocked disbelief and shut the door myself.

I realize nursing home aides are often overworked and underpaid, and the job can be very demanding, but the old folks deserve to be treated with respect. If this is the way my dear grandmother is treated in the presence of family, one wonders how she is treated when no one is there.

A majority of these loved ones come into the nursing home aware that they have lost most of their possessions, as well as their independence. The few personal items they bring with them are often stolen. In Grandma’s case, the only thing that hasn’t been stolen is her Bible, but that doesn’t make a great deal of difference because someone took her glasses.

I’m a resident of Michigan, but I’m sure this same disgraceful situation exists in many other places. I hope you will print my letter. Maybe it will open some eyes. Thank you, Ann. - Deborah A., Somewhere in Michigan

Dear Michigan: As for the lack of respect shown to elderly patients by some of the nursing staff, this is a matter of the way these nurses were brought up rather than a reflection on their professional training. You should voice your complaints to the director of the nursing home. No one deserves to be treated with so little consideration.

You are right when you say the same disgraceful situation exists in many other states. And it’s not just limited to nursing homes. It can happen in hospitals, too. Patients are instructed when they check in to give their jewelry and all but a few dollars to a family member or a friend.

Sad to say, when we are most in need of care, we are often taken advantage of. For example, when accidents occur - plane, train or car wrecks - the first people to arrive on the scene have been known to help themselves to the wallets, purses and jewelry of the dead and dying. Victims of a fire are sometimes victims of theft.

This is a sorry commentary on the degree of integrity of some individuals. Nevertheless, I refuse to believe that most people are like this. In my opinion, most folks are honest.