Cheap Seats

The Fighting Bean Counters

It doesn’t figure, but Navy, not Notre Dame, was the home team for Saturday’s game in Dublin, Ireland. It seems the Fighting Irish - nickname be damned - refused to give up a home game for the trip.

You mean I’m in charge here?

Here’s one time you wish you could have been there.

Braves owner Ted Turner bought a hot dog at a food stand during the last World Series game in Atlanta, carefully paying for it with three $1 bills.

Then, as he headed to the condiment table for some mustard - like Ted needs more mustard - he said to no one in particular, “Three dollars for a hot dog. Can you believe it?”

A fan passing by who recognized Turner called back, “Then do something about it!”

Oh, he will. He’ll raise ticket prices to make a hot dog seem like a bargain.

We got the beat

A fight broke out between band members during halftime of the Norcom-Booker T. Washington football game in Norfolk, Va., recently.

The fight, witnessed by more than 3,000 fans, began moments after the Booker T. band trotted off the field, running into the Norcom band, which was sitting on the track bordering the field. Witnesses said the pushing and shoving escalated into a full-scale melee as instruments and punches were thrown. It took 20 police officers using pepper spray about 5 minutes to restore order.

Once the Norcom band reached its sidelines, several band members rushed back across the end zone and another brawl ensued.

No serious injuries were reported. Two people were treated at Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughter for difficulty breathing. That was likely due to the pepper spray police used to help break up the fight.

Or because the Booker band had just finished playing “Flight of the Bumble Bee.”

Doesn’t mean it’s a real sport

Mexico’s Perla Ramirez has become the first synchronized swimmer ever to be suspended for a doping violation.

Happy groom

In a recent interview, Cleveland Cavaliers forward Tyrone Hill was asked when he got married over the summer. He quickly turned to a Cavs public relations man and asked: “When did I get married?”

How ad agencies get rich

The Los Angeles Kings spent $1 million on a series of TV spots promoting their theme of Serious Hockey, a not-to-subtle slash at the rival Mighty Ducks.

In one, Kings coach Larry Robinson is relaxing with his head up against a chair. With the sound of ice being sloshed around in the background and ice chips being sprayed into the air, Robinson yawns and yells, “You’re going to do it again. We need to work harder in the corners. Good, pick it up, come on.”

The camera pans away from Robinson to reveal several weary Zamboni drivers.

Well, we can see why the ad campaign isn’t called Hilarious Hockey.

The last word …

“Nothing like this had stirred New Yorkers since, well, since hockey, which is, at least, not soccer.”

- Chicago Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome, on the Yankees winning the World Series

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo