The Slice Sorry, Wrong Reunion

We were at an event attended by several reunion planners.

And this one nice fellow with gray hair seemed puzzled when we started asking him about his upcoming gathering of bomber crews.

That’s because we had the wrong guy. The man to whom we were speaking is planning a meeting of a national figure skating association.

Hailing Hale-Bopp: Today’s guest artist is 8-year-old Cameron Rost.

Eleven true statements and one we just made up:

1. People who grew up on farms and ranches say fewer stupid things than the rest of the Inland Northwest’s population.

2. That report about the danger of talking on cellular phones while driving apparently fell on deaf ears.

3. Portable radios with a scan-and-seek function are a boon to mankind.

4. It’s not unusual for women to experience angst about employing a housekeeping service.

5. Some people heading into Niko’s restaurant downtown still look for the door on Riverside, even though the entrance is now around the corner on Post.

6. Not everyone who watches Debbi Fields’ cooking show pays all that much attention to the recipes.

7. Some people wouldn’t handle magazines in medical-office waiting rooms no matter how bored they got.

8. In certain circles, saying that you find it difficult to generate enthusiasm for “Stars: A Celebration of Heroes” can cost you.

9. The National Hockey League season is way, way too long.

10. Weariness with Bring Our Daughters to Work Day is no excuse for not being polite to the girls who will visit your workplace.

11. The average age of people who watch TV news in Spokane is 68.

12. Sweet onions give life meaning.

You don’t have to be Norwegian to say it: Several readers noted that we failed to define “uff da” the other day. Well, we thought everyone already knew. Guess not. Judging from usage contexts, we would say the expression is a blend of “Good grief,” “Oh, brother,” “Heaven help us,” “No way,” “Oh, my,” and “Well, there you go.”

Warm-up questions: How many Spokane area men own both Birkenstocks and wingtips? If someone marketed an air-freshener inspired by the scent in your home, what would it be called? Who was the drunkest best man in the history of Inland Northwest weddings?

Today’s Slice question: You’re not really a true Inland Northwest woman unless you can do what two things at the same time?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Eat plenty of peas and lentils.