Reverend’s ‘Meditations’ End Abruptly

Sometimes, it’s hard to keep your eyes open when speakers drone on and on. Ask the Rev. Roger LaChance of St. Pius X Catholic Church (or, as the program for the Idaho Athletic Sports Banquet says, “St. Pious X”). The poor ol’ padre was fairly chipper for the first 36 hours or so of the awards marathon. By the time Olympian Dan O’Brien spoke, however, he’d had it. The reverend began counting lost sheep into his hand. He might have survived his short siesta, too - if he hadn’t tumbled off his chair. But there is a silver lining to the cleric’s fall from grace. Now, he knows how the laity lives.

Up close & personal

A funny thing happened to a KREM-2 news crew on its way to a not-so-hazardous material spill at the Huetter rest stop. “The News Leader” drove its Explorer too close to the gunk - and had to spread ‘em. Firefighters wiped the newscasters off with towels, brushed them down and made them air out their vehicle. Film at 11? … From the Idaho News Observer: Visitors to Wallace already are asking: “Where’s the mountain?” Rather than explain that “Dante’s Peak” was inserted into the movie, Publisher Paul Friend urged locals, tongue in cheek, to fib that Universal Studios blew it up. Writes Paul: “Who knows? They might even want to purchase a piece of it.”

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So, you don’t think we have an image problem in the Potato State? Consider this line Monday from “Chicago Hope,” the hospital drama series. One character claimed - and I paraphrase - that a prominent person has a better chance to receive a heart transplant than say (drum roll, please) a jackhammer operator from Idaho whose mother just happens to be his sister. Ouch! … It must be hell when your Playboy magazines are pilfered. Brian John Hell’s, that is. On April 3, the Post Falls man told police two year’s worth of centerfolds had vanished while he was sleeping in Seattle. I’d be checking under the mattresses of neighborhood teenage boys. … So, what did the 911 dispatcher ask North Idaho College basketball coach Hugh Watson when he reported his car had just been stolen? Queried she: Are you keeping up with your car payments?

Where’s the natural?

“Phil from Colrain, Mass” e-mailed this question to chamber manager Pat McGaughey: “I was at a meeting in your town … in the spring of 1994. At the time you had a high school senior that was a truly good baseball player. He was hitting home runs left and right. I did get a chance to see him hit one out. It was truly impressive. I am just writing to see if you or someone from the area could remind me as to what his name was and he is doing.” Pat, of course, answered: John Schroeder. The ex-Vik is participating in extended spring training for Minnesota. Afterward, he could jump to the Twins’ double-A team in New Britain, Conn.

Huckleberries

By the way, I noticed Pat’s e-mail contained this brag line: “Home of the World’s Only Floating Green!” I suppose that beats “World Headquarters of the Aryan Nations.” … Only longtime locals (read, three years or more) can pronounce the name of Hayden’s Finucane (fa-new-can) Park. So, the Huckleberry Puppette should be excused for telling Mom she had softball practice at Fig Newton. … Name game: A University of North Texas sports fact sheet faxed to us lists the beat writer for the Dallas Morning News: Will Pry. Don’t we all?

Parting shot

Darryl Kuehl’s murder trial in Bonner County got off to a bad start - for prosecutors. Taped interviews with Kuehl were of such poor quality that the judge and jury heard something that sounded like a phone conversation with Charlie Brown’s parents: “Wawa, wawa, wawawa wa wa wa.” Finally, Judge James Judd complained: “You’ve had this tape for two years. It seems to me that you would know by now if it would be of … some value.” The objection was recorded - and sustained.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (208) 765-7125 or (800) 344-6718; daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review