Merry Music Could There Be New Ways To Sing The Old Christmas Favorites? Read On…
The question is not how many times can one hear the song “Deck the Halls” during the Christmas season before one feels more like decking one of Santa’s little helpers.
The real question is, how many different ways can songs such as “Deck the Halls,” “Silent Night,” “Silver Bells” and “Joy to the World” possibly be performed and sold on CD before the wellspring of good cheer runs dry?
It would appear record company execs everywhere are putting that very question - and our pocketbooks - to the test.
And judging by the foot-high stack of Christmas CDs now towering atop this music critic’s desk, it would appear the possibilities are as unending as, say, the staying power of grandma’s fruitcake.
For instance, take the song “Silent Night.” Amid my stack of holiday flack I have found, to name only a few: an R&B version, a rock version, a country version, a country-rock version, a Celtic version and a harmonica version.
Plus tunes like “Joy to the World” and “Deck the Halls” found themselves done in a drag queen version.
Yes, even RuPaul - that cross-dresser with legs to make Cindy Crawford envious - got some Christmas action this year. And let me tell you, RuPaul gives a whole new meaning to the song “Santa Baby.”
Lest I sound like a stick in the figgy pudding, let me point out the good side to this gluttonous onslaught of digital holiday effervescence. Diversity means each and every one of you should be able to find a holiday album to suit your melodious taste.
To help you on your way, I have divided this year’s Christmas offerings (or at least the ones sent to my office) into four convenient categories. So go forth and find holiday cheer in whatever form suits you.
Fruitcake
These albums are nutty, a bit wacky even, but like their namesake, they’re worth a try - if only during the holidays.
With sleigh-loads full of kitsch and camp, RuPaul adds a thumping dance beat and some spicy sensuality to the holiday season. On his … er … her aptly named Christmas album “Ho, Ho, Ho,” (Rhino Records) the drag queen diva turns “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” into “RuPaul the Red-Nosed Drag Queen” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” into - oh my - “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus.” And as RuPaul sings it, all she wants for Christmas is … liposuction, breast implants, a tummy tuck, etc.
If you have friends like mine, they’ll love listening to this at the Christmas party.
Those hip to the swing thing are sure to dig “A Christmas Cocktail” (Milan). Cocktail king Jaymz Bee and the Royal Jelly Orchestra slip a vodka martini (straight up) to beloved carols such as “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “The Little Drummer Boy.” They also lend that big band cool to original tunes like “Space Age Santa” and “It’s Christmas Time (Oh Yeah).” Cheers to this CD.
If you like “The Ren and Stimpy Show,” you’ll probably be titillated by this twisted take on holiday cheer. “Crock O’ Christmas” (Kid Rhino) finds the animated duo doing tunes like “Fleck the Walls” (with stinky diapers) and “We Wish You a Hairy Chestwig” (and a bucket of beards). All good fun if you have an in-the-toilet sense of humor. Of course, if you don’t, then you’ll probably find this album as enjoyable as coughing up a hairball.
Sugar plums
This stuff is tasty holiday fare for the whole family.
You just can’t beat an all-star Christmas album. Especially a benefit album. Heck, it’s become a tradition. “A Home for the Holidays” (Mercury) is just one of this year’s installments, benefiting the nonprofit Phoenix House, which has offered substance abuse treatment, prevention and education for 30 years.
While a bit on the dull side to start, the album does offer a nice variety of easygoing Christmas faves from the likes of Aaron Neville, Suzanne Vega and Richie Sambora. OMC doles out a swing-cool version of “My Favorite Things.” Redd Kross rocks it up just a bit with “Mary Christmas” and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones follow suit with “X’Mas Time (It Sure Doesn’t Feel Like It.)” “Superstar Christmas” (Epic) is a super-cool new compilation of previously recorded songs. Frank Sinatra favorite “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow” takes a place alongside John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” and Tony Bennett’s “Winter Wonderland.” Even Cyndi Lauper’s peculiar zydeco take on “Early Christmas Morning” shouldn’t deter you from this album.
Some of the proceeds will be donated to the T.J. Martell Foundation for Leukemia, Cancer and AIDS Research.
“Country Cares for Kids” (BNA Records) is a good holiday album for those who prefer their Santa in spurs and a 10-gallon hat. Clint Black and Travis Tritt pen upbeat original pop-country tunes while Martina McBride gives “O Holy Night” a crisp and haunting hoist to the sky in this CD to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.
Also on the country front comes an offering from Willie Nelson and his sister Bobbie Nelson. “Hill Country Christmas” (Fine Arts) contains simple and tastefully arranged favorites along with the Willie-penned song “El Nino,” a lovely holiday original that decorates the birth of Christ in affecting Latin flair.
“Soul Train Christmas Starfest” (Epic) follows the multi-artist suit, although not for charity. If you like modern R&B, then you’ll want to unwrap this album and get it in your stereo well before the big day. Listen as youngsters like Boyz II Men soar through “Let it Snow” and En Vogue lend “Silent Nite” a decidedly sexy makeover. Then listen as an old-timer like James Brown funks his way through “Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto” and Stevie Wonder gives soul to “Someday at Christmas.”
Donald Lawrence also has an offering for modern R&B fans. Backed up by the Tri-City Singers, Lawrence gives his “Hello Christmas” album (Crystal Rose) a truly soulful feel. The “Little Drummer Boy” turned into a bluesy church spiritual is a standout.
“Merry Axemas: A Guitar Christmas” (Epic) lands among my favorite holiday CDs this winter. This is an album full of tastefully done (for the most part) Christmas instrumentals performed by the likes of Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Joe Perry and and Richie Sambora.
Sure, Joe Satriani could use a bit of reigning in on what is a decidedly unsilent rendition of “Silent Night.” But Alex Lifeson’s “Little Drummer Boy” is splendidly fresh and rousing while Jeff Beck’s “Amazing Grace” is haunting in its spare execution.
On a local level, the Spokane Area Children’s Chorus has released a fine holiday album called “The Children’s Gift of Grace.” Under the direction of Tamara Schupman, our region’s sweetest voices soar nicely through Christmas favorites as well as haunting pieces such as “Whalesong” and “Hine Ma Tov.”
The children’s choir is a nonprofit organization that provides vocal and choral training for children ages 7 to 17. For more information on the CD, call (509) 624-7992.
Boy, the Irish do love their Christmas music. Two Celtic Christmas albums made their way to my desk, both of which have a dark beauty and finespun restraint often lacking in Americanized holiday tunes.
“The Soul of Christmas: A Celtic Music Celebration with Thomas Moore” (Tommy Boy) comes from the PBS telecast by the same name. The double CD finds one disc with thoughts on Christmas by Moore, a former Catholic monk turned self-help author. If you’re not into that motivational hooey, pitch that disc in favor of the other, which contains an interesting gathering of Celtic Christmas songs with some fine fiddling from Johnny Cunningham.
“The Night Before: A Celtic Christmas” (Narada) finds the all-woman Irish group Dordan doling out holiday fare in Gaelic. Acoustic guitar, flute, harp and whistles decorate delicate airs and high-stepping jigs so lively you’ll expect to find a leprechaun at Santa’s side rather than an elf.
Amid the glut of Christian-oriented holiday songsmithing comes a tastefully done and simply enjoyable album of songs celebrating the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. “Festival of Light” (Six Degrees) is an eclectic find that ranges from Marc Cohn’s soulfully modern version of “Rock of Ages” to the hauntingly ancient sounds of “Kiddush Le-Shabbat” by The Covenant. A fine album for people of any - or no - religion.
If you’re a fan of synthesizer players with big hair and overly dramatic New Age flair (think Yanni), you’ll probably enjoy David Arkenstone’s “Enchantment” (Narada). Arkenstone, who looks like a cross between Jesus and Kenny G, gives tunes like “We Three Kings” the fanciful treatment and “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” an aerial breathiness suitable for the most mystical minded.
Rising Christian star Rebecca St. James dishes out a delectable offering simply called “Christmas” (Forefront). The young Australian artists’ voice dips at times into that edgily pretty Sarah McLachlan feel. Songs like “Sweet Little Jesus Boy” are solid and interesting pop numbers with an uplifting message while her “Silent Night” thumps, breathes and swirls with fresh life.
“God With Us” is another fine album from some top contemporary Christian artists - Anointed, Michael W. Smith and Steven Curtis Chapman to name a few.
Wanna make kids in the Barney-fan range happy? Give “Joe Scruggs: Merry Christmas” (Lyrick Studios) a try. Scruggs’ child-like exuberance is a bit cheesy for bigger kids but the young-uns will like his easy melodies and sing-a-long style.
Cheeseballs
The holiday cheer has been spread a bit too thick here.
The Hanson brothers, their voices breaking with teen hormones as they sing “Merry Christmas Baby,” have hit the Christmas CD circuit with all their cheeky might. On “Snowed In” (Mercury), we listen to this ever-so-cutesy trio sing songs like “Everybody Knows the Claus,” with lyrics as: “Ask Rudolph and he won’t steer you wrong/Santa wasn’t this fat all along/until he started cookin’ one day/don’t try to take that turkey away.”
Sure, these boys can play some catchy pop and if you have pre-teen girls you’ll be the big hero when you bring their album home. But with a CD cover packed with gooey photos of the boys frolicking in the snow, I can’t, in good conscience, put this album in any category other than cheeseball.
If that makes me a Grinch, so be it.
Yikes. Speaking of bad CD art, check out the gaudy cover of the Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton musical atrocity “Once Upon A Christmas” (RCA). Much like the cover, the rest of the album just goes to prove that even adults can be too cutesy. Yeesh, I hate when Dolly gives that fribbling squeal of hers on giddily upbeat songs like “I Believe in Santa Claus” and “Winter Wonderland.”
Wait, I think she does that on every song.
Judy Collins’ “Christmas at the Baltimore Estate” (Elektra) might be enjoyable to those of you who like the frail butterfly quality of Collins’ voice. For me, however, her ethereal treatment of these holiday classics feels almost tinny and downright unvaried from tune to tune. Her homespun holiday tales between songs aren’t exactly gripping fare either.
B.J. Thomas’ “Christmas is Coming Home” (Warner Resound) is easy-listening schlock at its dullest. Thomas’ vocals are both strong and silken but don’t expect anything too rousing. This CD is perfect for slapping in the machine after Christmas dinner. Just lay back and digest. Maybe take a short nap before dessert.
Trisha Yearwood’s “Home for the Holidays” (MCA) landed on the borderline of good taste for me. But it was her insipid version of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” that eventually pushed this CD into the cheeseball category.
Here, as in several songs, Yearwood and the London Symphony Orchestra seem to be forcing that holidayesque quality to nauseating proportions. From the overwrought orchestration to the never-ending lofty quality of Yearwood’s voice, it’s mostly just too sticky sweet - like someone sloshed a bit too much rum into the egg nog.
Those, however, who argue there can never be too much rum in the egg nog - nor too much soaring holiday cheer - may enjoy this Christmas serving.
Figgy pudding
I have no idea what figgy pudding is nor what these people were thinking when putting out these Christmas albums.
Pick up the “Animaniacs: A Hip-Hopera Christmas” and watch as Kid Rhino and Warner Brothers make a quickie Christmas buck off the kiddies. A lame holiday story line mixed with tired hip-hop holiday tunes - oh please, pass this over like you would grandma’s … well … figgy pudding.
Zzzzz. Whoa, sorry. Almost dozed off there. Had “Bonfiglio: Home for the Holidays” (Street Song) in the CD player. OK, Robert Bonfiglio is a harmonica virtuoso. And yes, he plays the instrument very, very well. However, an album full of mouth harp Christmas music? Come on. His rendition of “Do You Hear What I Hear” prompts me to point out that, indeed, I do hear what he hears. A harmonica: over and over and over again.
Please man, put it down.
, DataTimes