As Life Goes, It’s Ok To Live Singly

Dear Ann Landers: I am 73 and have been referred to as “part of the slag heap.” I have been in and out of marriage, and I say out is better. For the last 17 years, I’ve been without a man, and I absolutely love being single.

I don’t have to cook or clean if I don’t feel like it. Nobody tells me who I should see, where I should go or what I can or cannot buy. Nobody crowds me out of bed, hogs the covers, snores in my ear or expects me to get up in the morning and make coffee. If I want to keep the light on and read all night, I do it. Lord, it’s wonderful!

My generation was male-dominated.

Dad ran things. Mom took orders and kept her mouth shut. I now know that no woman needs a man in her bed in order to be complete. Marriage is the hardest job in the world, and I have nothing but praise for those who succeed at it. (I didn’t.) But having been both married and single, I can truthfully say that single is one heck of a lot better.

Please print this for the single women in your reading audience who think a man would be the answer to their prayers. - Fresno, Calif.

Dear Fresno: You sound self-assured, strong and fiercely independent. You also sound like a woman who had a lousy marriage.

Many women (and men) have made the discovery that it is OK to live singly, but never say never. Remember that life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.

Dear Ann Landers: Well, you certainly proved how little respect you have for hard-working 15-year-olds when you responded to that girl in North Carolina who signed herself “Already an Adult.” She said her mother expected her to cook, clean and take care of her younger sister. You said she should talk to her mother about getting someone to help so the girl could have a little social life.

You ignored the fact that her mother won’t compromise. It would serve that self-righteous, slave-driving woman right if she had to go to jail for violating the child-labor laws.

Respect is a two-way street. Parents don’t have the right to exploit their children the way this woman is doing. Did she have kids because she wanted them or because she was looking for free labor? If that mother were the CEO of a major company, she’d be in the middle of a very long and ugly strike. - Fortyish Reader in Bloomington, Ind.

Dear Bloomington: Most people who grow up in middle America are expected to do some work around the house and help take care of younger sisters and brothers. They don’t have governesses, maids and butlers.

This 15-year-old, however, seemed to be carrying too heavy a load, and I suggested that she ask her mother to get some paid help. I believe my advice was right, and I pray that the mother will listen to me.

Dear Ann Landers: Here’s another one for your “wacky lawsuit” file. I read about it in the Orlando Sentinel, and it cracked me up.

A man was charged with first-degree murder for stabbing a tavern worker to death with two screwdrivers. He wants a judge to declare the death penalty unconstitutional because it violates his freedom of speech. The assistant public defender said that seeking the death penalty against his client violates the man’s rights because “If someone died, it would restrict his right to freedom of speech.” Duh! - Apopka, Fla., Reader

Dear Apopka: When I received your letter, I checked it out. I couldn’t believe it, but I do now. Methinks the public defender needs someone to defend him.