Ring Bearers Should Same-Sex Marriages Be Recognized By The State Of Washington? Civil Marriage Has Given Rights To Heterosexuals. It Is Time The Gay Community Has The Same.

Recently a Spokesman-Review editor noted that a perceived majority of Americans oppose gay marriage and asked readers to suggest alternatives.

There are no acceptable alternatives. People need to understand why.

No one can speak for the entire gay community, but I believe I can speak for the majority, including many who might prefer not to marry. My perspective derives from being a member of that community, a lawyer and an active lay member of a mainstream Christian denomination. I am also a husband and father.

Marriage is best understood as a relationship of emotional and financial interdependence between two people who make a public commitment. The issue raised in the lesbian and gay community is not about “gay” marriage but about marriage itself. Gays are asking for their equal right to marry just as non-gay Americans do. Beneath this issue lies three major subsets of issues, all of which are important to most Americans. These are religious issues, social issues and the issue of justice and fairness.

One aspect of the religious issue is almost a non-issue because the answer is so simple. This is not a fight to force any religious institution to perform or extend religious recognition to any marriage. It is about the right to a civil marriage license issued by the state. Just as the state should not intefere with religious ceremonies, so religious groups should not control who gets a civil marriage license.

A major social issue is the question of what is family. Historically the concept of family has never been restricted to father, mother, Dick and Jane. The historical family has consisted of households in which human commitments govern. Today this includes single parents of either sex raising children, remarried parents who have combined their families, grandparents raising grandchildren, unmarried couples raising chilren, gay men and lesbian women either singly or together raising the children of one or both, and conscientious foster parents consisting of any of the above.

Family even includes couples who by choice or accident have no children. As makers of homes in which commitment governs, should gay and lesbian people be denied status as family?

Civil marriage is a creature of government, affected by state laws concerning inheritance, parenting, adoption, hospital visitation, funeral arrangements, compelled testimony in court, divorce, and domestic violence protection. On the federal level marriage concerns immigration, Social Security and tax law. Why should same-gender couples who are willing to accept the responsibilities of civil marriage be denied rights? In America, constitutions commonly provide for equal protection by the law. Members of the gay community work and pay taxes. They are denied benefits, and for this they pay more rather than less. Is this equal protection? This is the justice and fairness issue.

In this country we have the blessing of being a free people. We have learned that justice and fairness preserve our freedom day to day. We are also a people who can see injustice and experience change of heart.

Lyndon Johnson was a much maligned president because of Vietnam, yet in the 1960s he became a personal hero to me because, contrary to his southern heritage, he lead the U.S. Senate to pass the most sweeping civil rights legislation of our time. Why would any thoughful person expect my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their basic rights become fair game on some political auction block today?

Both church and society in this country have perpetuated the invented sin of same-gender affection. It is not sin; it is simply part of who some people are.

It is hard after centuries of error to accept the truth. But it is happening because new generations of the gay community are no longer willing to be either hidden or marginalized.

I stand in awe of the young leaders in today’s gay community for their incredible faith and courage. I am so deeply proud of them. Thanks to them, an overwhelming majority of Americans recently polled believe that discrimination in the workplace on account of sexual orientation is wrong, a major shift in public opinion in a very short time.

An alternative to marriage means some substitute, an ersatz thing.

Unfortunately, anything short of the genuine article is too little.

MEMO: For opposing view, see article with same headline by Rep. Bill Thompson.

This sidebar appeared with the story: LET US KNOW HOW YOU FEEL Interactive editor Doug Floyd would like to hear from you on this issue. Write him at The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, Wash., 99210-1615. Or send e-mail to dougf@spokesman.com.