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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Thursday, June 4, 2020  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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The Slice Gifts: She Can Relate

We heard about a little girl who was bored and distracted at a wedding until she heard the minister utter the words “presence of God.”

She thought he’d said something about “presents.”

The Spokane area’s most reliable nontraditional economic indicator: According to Rob Golden, it’s the volume of free food samples people wolf down at Costco. The slower the economy, the greater the consumption of freebie snacks.

One reader suggested that a high number of broken car windshields not getting replaced tended to forecast an economic downturn.

Another caller said that if a high percentage of the junk cars parked in front of local homes have inflated tires, good times are on the way.

And still another reader said you could predict the area’s economic fortunes by checking to see how many coins had been tossed into the water by the cougar in the STA Plaza.

Many of this guy’s customers are lawyers: We went in this snack shop downtown and didn’t buy what we usually get. “Ah,” said the man at the cash register. “A change of venue.”

First time as a quartet: Alaska Airlines magazine lists its advertising sales offices by region. You know, “Alaska,” “Western Washington,” “California/Nevada,” et cetera.

Well, the geographic grouping for one office made us do a double-take. It’s “Eastern Washington/Idaho/ Montana/New York.”

Random notes:

1. To get psyched up, some guys have been known to visualize the D-Day landings before calling up a woman and asking her out.

2. The wrong people do most of the unauthorized writing in wet concrete.

3. It’s hard to imagine a truly scary movie scene set in a Spokane parking garage.

4. Cars belonging to South Hill residents must need brake jobs more often than most vehicles.

5. Women appear more likely than men to lock the car door before going into a supermarket.

6. Summer haters are Spokane’s most invisible minority.

7. In their tiny brains, ticks hear the soundtrack from “Jaws.”

8. We prefer handshakes that don’t make a statement.

9. People who own RVs tend to support kids’ lemonade stands.

10. Every Western had a nitro episode but, in our opinion, the one on ‘Gunsmoke” was the best.

Today’s Slice question: If you are trying to sell your home and schedule an open house, what’s the likelihood that at least one neighbor will hold a junky yard sale on the same day?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Make plans now to join our Dozen Man March to protest spitting in public.

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Make plans now to join our Dozen Man March to protest spitting in public.

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