Person Makes Difference, Not Age

We know Cher likes younger men and George Clooney enjoys the company of younger women. But they’re celebrities. The rules are different for them. But your neighbors are making the decisions. Here’s how it works out …

Mark: “I am 32, my ladyfriend is 48. We work together. A year ago I asked her to meet me for a drink after work. For a month we met before or after work and on our breaks. When she went on a week-long business trip, I realized I’d never missed anyone as intensely as I missed her. She felt the same way. I actually found myself pacing as I waited for her. When she arrived we were both shaking with excitement.

“As far as the attraction, I’m attracted to the same things I’ve found appealing in other women I’ve been with. Although she’s 48, she looks 38. We share interests and are looking for happiness, love and partnership. The age difference is not a problem. I can’t imagine being without her.”

Jamie: Six years ago when I was 34, I met Rich, 52. We married a year later. To give you some perspective of our age difference, Rich graduated high school when I was 6 months old. He married when I was in kindergarten and became a father when I was in first grade. The qualities I admire in Rich are the same I would look for in any man: He loves me faithfully, respects me, supports me, is good to my children, physically attractive and an extraordinary lover. He doesn’t have the “attitude” of younger men. He doesn’t compete with me out of insecurity and isn’t trying to find himself.

“I don’t think I would have been attracted to an older man who acted old. I can’t keep up with him. He jogs, golfs, bikes, etc. One of my main fears when we married was that Rich would predecease me and how difficult it would be to lose him. He comforted me with the thought that if we had five healthy, happy years, we would be blessed. We’ve had those five years and God willing we’ll have many more.”

Cassie: “I was 22 when I met my husband. He said he was 39. I was used to boys who had no money, no sophistication, no future. They just wanted to play and hang out. Jay was different. He had Bulls tickets and took me to wonderful restaurants. He worked out at the best health club and bought me a membership. He gave me beautiful gifts - jewels, furs, designer clothes. I was head over heels, I loved his silver hair and toned body. (He was a fanatic about his diet.)

Flash forward five years. I learned Jay was not 39, but 46. His silver hair started thinning, his friends’ wives were openly hostile to me. Jay had promised me he would have his vasectomy reversed, but he has since refused. I know if I stay with him I will never have the baby I so desperately want.

I feel used and manipulated. My silver fox has turned into a balding couch potato. What I thought was sophistication was boring. The young guys I knew have all settled down and their wives are having great sex. I’m not - he’s always tired. Marrying an old man was the stupidest thing I ever did.

xxxx