Cheap Seats

The real slur?

During the MCI Classic at Hilton Head Island, S.C., a reporter from People magazine approached Nick Faldo as he was pulling up in his courtesy car.

“Can I ask you about Tiger Woods?” she gushed.

Replied Faldo: “Nope. Not now, not later, not ever.”

Something in a baseball diamond?

Mariners second baseman Joey Cora is planning to ask his girlfriend of more than a year if she’ll marry him.

“I’m passing the torch to Alex,” Cora said, referring to shortstop Alex Rodriguez, now the team’s most eligible bachelor.

Cora, 31, said he plans to pop the question to Gabriela DeCastro within two weeks.

“I haven’t decided yet how I’m going to ask her,” he said. “Maybe I’ll ask Edgar (Martinez) for some advice.”

DeCastro has been in Venezuela the past 1 months visiting her parents, but returned to Seattle last week.

Cora’s biggest concern?

“What if Gabby says no?” he asked.

Then you’re going to need a bucket and a box of Kleenex, big guy.

Fixed-upper

Mike Tyson’s mansion, the one in Connecticut he paid $2.7 million for last year, is for sale.

And if you think the $22 million asking price is high, consider that he spent millions to renovate it, that it has 61 rooms, 38 baths, seven kitchens, an eight-bay garage, five whirlpool baths, 17 spare bedrooms, a 3,500-square-foot disco, an acre-wide lagoon that goes 14 feet deep, a 20-foot waterfall, an arcade, a 1,500-square-foot mirrored exercise room and sits on 17 acres with a man-made brook running through it.

Annual taxes are just $46,893, and utility bills are about $4,000 a month. Pay just 40 percent down and mortgage payments are only $104,000.

Hey, after his previous address, Mike needed some room to stretch out.

Micro-brained management

Sounds as if Reds general manager Jim Bowden has a little - or a lot - of George Steinbrenner in him.

Frustrated with his team’s lousy start, Bowden is making it known that second baseman Bret Boone and first baseman Hal Morris are available.

“You can’t afford to let your team get too comfortable,” Bowden said. “Sometimes you have to trade friends and popular players to get some attention in the clubhouse.”

Geez, Jim, do you think your players aren’t aware they’re the pits?

Like the real 49ers, he struck gold

Arrington Jones III, a fullback for the 49ers in 1981, is a millionaire - not because of a contract with lots of deferred money, but thanks to the Virginia Lottery.

Jones had a hunch, so instead of his usual dollar bet, he wagered $20. His numbers 2-9-11-16-17 came up and Jones qualified for more than $1.8 million of the jackpot. He will wind up with $1.3 after taxes.

Jones is now offensive coordinator for Virginia State.

Still?

The last word …

“It’s just a man. Or a female. Whatever it is.”

- Bullets forward Chris Webber, on matching up with Dennis Rodman

V, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo