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Hockey Night in Jersey

The NHL has put an end to the throwing of octopi on the ice (in Detroit) and plastic rats (in Miami), but a fan at a Canadiens-Devils game in New Jersey somehow hurled a pig’s head after a goal by the Devils’ John MacLean.

That prompted the Miami Herald to wonder: “How do you sneak a pig’s head into an arena?”

Somebody call Fuzzy Zoeller for the punchline.

Don’t call him ‘Yard’ for short

Watching highlights on “SportsCenter,” it’s obviously harder not hitting a home run these days than it is hitting one - but the toughest thing of all is not hitting one for 10 consecutive years.

Last Monday, Braves infielder Rafael Belliard celebrated the 10th anniversary of his last, and only, home run - more than 1,800 at bats ago.

It’s quite a spell. Four guys - Mark McGwire, Fred McGriff, Barry Bonds and Jose Canseco - have hit more than 300 homers in the time Belliard has hit no homers. And 26 guys have hit more than 200 homers since then.

Back when Belliard swatted his now-monumental clout, it was only his 405th career at-bat. So few knew we would be recalling it so fondly now - though Andy Van Slyke, who was Belliard’s teammate with the Pirates then, said he did.

“For Ralphy to get a ball to the outfield, they should categorize it like when Canseco or McGwire hit one in the second deck,” Van Slyke said.

Asked how many homers he figured Belliard would wind up with some day, Marlins pitching coach Rich Donnelly replied: “One.”

OK, suppose he played in Denver?

“One.”

What about the Kingdome? The Metrodome?

“One,” Donnelly said. “It doesn’t matter where he plays. In a phone booth? One. In the lobby of the team hotel? One. Raffy can hit from second base and not hit one out.”

Now, another 380 at bats and he’ll break Jerry Remy’s record for longest home-run drought since World War II (2,292 at-bats).

Unlike Hank Aaron’s 715th or Roger Maris’ 61st, Belliard’s blast doesn’t exactly live on in videotape eternity. But footage does exist on the Pirates’ ‘87 highlights film.

“I watch it all the time,” he said. “When I’m not hitting, I turn it on. I’d like to get one more just to shut everybody up.”

By-Coastal

Running back Kenny Bynum of South Carolina State was elated to be selected by the San Diego Chargers in the recent NFL draft because “I know the West Coast offense really well,” he said.

Asked if the Chargers had told him they were switching to the West Coast offense, Bynum said no, but San Diego is on the West Coast, so he figured that’s what all the teams out there played.

The Phil Knight Sweatshop Invitational

Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods played golf in Chicago with TV helicopters hovering overhead, which might have been why Jordan declined to talk to the press. Word was that Jordan got 14 strokes and beat Woods.

Somebody call Fuzzy Zoeller for the punchline.

The last word …

“I hope I can be here for a long, long time.”

- Sixers coach Larry Brown, starting his sixth NBA job

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo