Cheap Seats

Breakthrough moment

Michael Ventre of MSNBC on the inevitable civil suit in the Charles Barkley assault case: “For the victim, this was quite literally a window of opportunity.”

Watch that foul behavior

As part of her apprenticeship, new NBA referee Violet Palmer worked a summer league game loaded with NBA rookies two years ago. She had no sooner whistled one of the players for a foul when the grumbling began at the end of bench behind her.

“That wasn’t an NBA foul,” one of the scrubs complained.

“And you,” Palmer scolded without even bothering to turn around, “aren’t an NBA player - yet.”

A concern on the minds of the players of what either Palmer or fellow referee Dee Kantner will do when patted on the butt by say, Dennis Rodman or Charles Barkley - does not exactly consume either one.

“If it’s a good call or nice try or whatever, that’s fine,” said Kantner. “If they pat me on the butt in a condescending manner, that’s different, and they’ll find themselves hit with a warning or a technical foul.

“Now, if anyone had told me 20 years ago that I would enter my late 30s interpreting on-court butt pats, I would have said that person was nuts.”

Probably the same reaction players would have had then to the idea of women female refs. Come to think of it, some things don’t change.

Get in line, Don

Boxing promoter Don King bowed his head in prayer for the invocation and crossed his hand over his heart for the Pledge of Allegiance.

He sat through a 5-minute community improvements video and then applauded when the mayor commended a local jeweler for organizing a charity road race.

Seems even a donation of $326,000 for a new fire engine won’t win you a spot at the top of the Deerfield Beach (Fla.) City Commission agenda.

Still, agenda item D-4 - the honoring of King and his wife, Henrietta - was clearly the highlight of the meeting.

But after King’s moment, business went on at the commission meeting, in spite of the hoopla.

Jim Dunn was recognized for organizing a road race that raised $111,000 for a new Boys & Girls Club. But he said he had ulterior motives for showing up at the meeting.

“I came here hopefully so I could be Don King’s jeweler,” Dunn said, “but I couldn’t even sneak him a card yet.”

You can write it in stone

Detroit Pistons coach Doug Collins, bristling at the suggestion he’s on his way out after shortening his contract to one season:

“I won’t burn out. Other coaches put as much into it as I do. You only see me. All you have to do is look at Phil Jackson. Look how much he’s aged in 10 years, and he’s had the best team. I’m not going to defend myself against that anymore. On my tombstone they can write, ‘He cared too much.’ That’ll be fine with me.”

Only way he gets there

Prediction from Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune: “Patrick Ewing will guarantee another championship - actually he already has - (for the New York Knicks) and he’ll get to the finals the way he always does: with tickets from Michael.”

The last word …

“Golf has made more liars out of people than income tax.”

- Will Rogers

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo