Cheap Seats

Only a good beer buzz would make this team palatable

University of Colorado’s football team is struggling with a 5-4 record, and junior receiver Darrin Chiaverini says the players have come to accept criticism.

“Our fans are our fans. They’re mad that the stadium isn’t selling beer, and they’re taking it out on us.”

Bon appetit

Some athletes eat the strangest foods, not necessarily the healthiest.

Figure skating champion Tara Lipinski said her favorite dish is grapes topped with whipped cream, M&Ms and sprinkles.

A different kind of ice star, Adam Foote of the Colorado Avalanche, is fond of an egg, ham and cheese sandwich covered with mustard, catsup and mayonnaise.

Home-field advantage?

Baseball’s expansion draft will take place on the home turf of the Arizona Diamondbacks, so the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are going to great lengths to make sure the location doesn’t put them at a disadvantage.

The new A.L. team has 24-hour security guarding its “war room” at the Scottsdale Princess, site of this week’s general managers meetings. Each morning, the area is checked for electronic eavesdropping devices.

“The walls have ears,” Devil Rays owner Vince Naimoli told The Tampa Tribune. “We’re not taking any chances now. This is high-stakes poker.”

Somebody has seen “All the President’s Men” way too many times.

Sic ‘em, Dino!

As the snow fell outside Ristuccia Center Friday, the Boston Bruins gathered inside their practice facility and - heh-heh-heh, get this Barney - talked about Fred Flintstone.

That’s right, fearless Fred, Bedrock’s own. Coach Pat Burns, looking to underscore that it takes more to win NHL games than simply pulling on the uniform and punching the clock, accused Fred of too often going through the motions.

Right now, Burns made clear, there are too many Freds with spoked B’s on their chests.

“You know, punch the clock, go home, and eat dinner with Wilma,” said Burns, recounting for the media after practice what he told his players in a pre-practice bull session.

“Yeah,” said Jason Allison. “I thought he said it was Betty, but … whatever.”

Remember, not even God can hit a 1-iron

Earlier this year, Greg Turner, a European PGA tour player, refused to resume play in the Volvo Masters in Spain, which could have qualified him for the U.S. Open, because there was lightning in the area.

“What good is a posthumous entry to the U.S. Open?” he asked.

At least there’s one athlete with a little perspective on life.

The last word …

“He is again reminding the world how dangerous a Greyhound bus would be if it had no brakes.”

- Ron Borges in the Boston Globe on powerful running back Jerome Bettis of the Pittsburgh Steelers

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo