Positive Light Shines On Age Difference

Dear Ann Landers: After reading the letter from “Harrisburg,” I knew I had to write to you. She was a 42-year-old divorcee in love with a man 17 years younger. They had talked about marriage, but he was concerned that she would not be able to have children. The similarities between her story and my life are astounding.

I am a 30-year-old man married to a 47-year-old divorcee. We, too, started with a discreet office friendship. When things began to get serious and we told our friends we intended to marry, they all said it would never last. They were wrong. We will soon celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary and look forward to many more good years together. - B.H. in Los Angeles

Dear B.H.: Congratulations. Read on for more:

From Lafitte, La.: Please tell “Harrisburg” to go for it. My husband was 22 when we married. I was 39. He is now 31, and I am 48. By the way, my daughter by my first husband is 29, and my son is 30. They think our marriage is the best thing that ever happened to both of us.

Los Angeles: I entered into a relationship with my husband when he was 27 (and looked about 19). I was 44. When we traveled, people kept asking if he was my son. I had twins 10 months after we married. My doctor said it was a miracle. We’ve been married for 12 years and are more in love than ever.

Vancouver, Wash.: When I was 19, I asked a 51-year-old widower to take me out for dinner. I thought he was cool, and he thought I was cute. He asked my parents’ permission, and they said, “Fine.” That was 21 years ago. Today, I am 40, and Bob is 72. We have been married for 19 wonderful years and couldn’t be happier.

Richmond, Va.: I was 17 years younger than my wife when we married. We also were told by everyone that it wouldn’t work. Well, they were mistaken. She had a child when she was 43, and we had 40 great years together.

Aloha, Ore.: Michael and I met at work. He was 23, and I was a 40-year-old divorcee. I became a grandmother after our second date and thought that would scare him off. It didn’t. Everyone in the family is crazy about him, and I feel like the luckiest woman on the face of the Earth.

Ojai, Calif.: Tell the woman who is 17 years older than her boyfriend that it may be OK now, but it won’t work later. I know from experience. I fell for a hunk who was 19 years my junior. He was the man of my dreams. When the romantic phase waned and the passion wore off, the marriage fell apart. Family members and friends were kind. No one said, “I told you so.”

Omaha: I was a 48-year-old widow when I met “Bill,” who was 30. My grown children were dead set against the marriage because they thought Bill was only after my money. We’ve been married for 28 years and are just as crazy about each other as the day we met. When I was in the hospital last year for major surgery, Bill was the one who spent every moment at my side and took loving care of me when I got home. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Eugene, Ore.: I had one of those soul-mate marriages and was heartsick when he left me because I was “too old to give him a family.” Three years after our divorce, I married “Richard” and was shocked to discover after six months that I was pregnant. I called my ex, who also had remarried, to tell him the news. (We remained friendly.) He said, “How strange. I learned a few months ago that I’m sterile, and we are trying to adopt.” How’s that for poetic justice, Ann?